


The Force's Secret - A Reylo Fan Fiction

by ElleRen31



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo - Freeform, Drama, Episode IX, F/M, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Rey - Freeform, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 17:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleRen31/pseuds/ElleRen31
Summary: COMPLETE!!! An Episode IX Reylo fan fiction. Five years after the events of The Last Jedi, Rey is a beacon of hope for those who are Force sensitive - those who remained hidden out of fear of the First Order. When the First Order threatens the Resistance, Rey will have to face her past, once and for all. Based off rumors of certain Episode IX plot points.





	1. A Beacon Of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a warning, it's not 100% Reylo, but it plays into the story. As it goes on you will see why. I hope you love this story all the same.

It had been a long five years since the fateful day Rey had left Jakku behind. Well, five years, six months, three days to be exact. She was always good with keeping track of time. Though instead of tallying days gone by on the walls of her room, she now logged the days in a journal of parchment.

She hastily scratched a number in the upper corner of the notebook with a piece of charcoal. She smoothed the page with a hand and sighed. One of the drawbacks of being so good with keeping count was that she knew exactly when the anniversaries of certain events would come about. Both the good and the bad. Today, for example, was a bad day.

Rey slammed the notebook shut and set it back down on the wooden desk in her room. Children's laughter echoed outside in the hall and several pairs of feet ran by. She looked at the chronometer on her bedside table. She needed to get going or she'd be late.

'All for the better.' She thought to herself as she stood up from her desk chair. A busy day would be just the thing to get her mind off of... Well, she wasn't going to think about it anymore. Nope. Not today.

She opened the door and another two children raced by.

"Morning Miss Rey!" They called, waving back at her as they ran down the hall.

"Slow down!" She yelled after them The children just laughed.

Rey made her way down the dim hallway of the Resistance bunker towards the cafeteria. The clattering of plates and utensils echoed as she reached her destination.

The cafeteria was filled many of the people and species who called the Resistance base their home. Some were in uniform. Others in normal clothes. She received nods of acknowledgment from various familiar faces as she made her way towards a table where a raucous group of children were seated.

"Good morning padawans." She said to the children at the table.

"Good morning Miss Rey." The table replied in unison. She ruffled the heads of some of the children and they playfully swatted her hand away in return.

"What have I said about running in the halls?" She reminded the children.

"Sorry Miss Rey." half the table answered. The other half just laughed at the others.

"See you in lessons." She told them with a smile.

A chorus of 'yes ma'am' and 'yes Miss Rey' was issued as she made her way to grab breakfast.

She sat down not far from the padawans and was soon joined by an older woman with gray tinged blonde hair.

"Good morning Rey." The woman said to Rey. Rey smiled as the woman took a seat at her table.

"Good morning Moira." Rey replied. Moira smiled back, tilting her head ever so slightly at her.

"Are you all right this morning?" Moira asked. "You look tired. Did you not sleep well?"

Rey smiled again and breathed a soft laugh.

"Nothing gets past you, does it Moira?" She asked.

"I pride myself with knowing how to read people. Just one of the many perks of having the Force I suppose." Moira replied.

Moira Simms was one of the many who had sought out Rey following the near decimation of the Resistance. The many being those who had the ability of the Force but who had been too afraid to let it be known. Stories of Rey's heroism spread across the galaxy like wildfire. How she took down Supreme Leader Snoke and his guards - single handedly! How she saved the Resistance from the First Order by rescuing them from Crait in her ship, the Millennium Falcon!

First it was the adults who arrived for her guidance. Then the children. Then the families. They sought her guidance on how to handle their powers. They sought her for safety, as the First Order was still as much of a heavy threat today as it was five years ago. She was the Resistances best hope now that Luke Skywalker had passed. However, life at the Resistance base was still highly dangerous. At any moments notice they could be thrown into a battle. The adults took on many jobs among the ranks of the Resistance. This provided the parents of some of the Force sensitive children who were not Force sensitive themselves to still have a way of providing for their families while their children learned to harness their powers.

"Perhaps we could do some meditation later." Moira suggested to Rey, trying to cheer her up.

"If I have any time." Rey said, cutting into her flatcakes. "I have lessons with the padawans today."

"Oh yes. I nearly forgot what day it was." Moira said. "They always tire you out."

"It's their energy! They're always all over the place." Rey said, laughing.

"I wish I had their energy." Moira sighed. "Oh to be young..." She continued wistfully.

Rey smiled at the woman and glanced back at the padawans. One of the boys had stuck utensils up his nostrils and the others were laughing at his show of mockery. Rey rolled her eyes at their silliness and went back to her breakfast.

The women chatted about the goings on around the base as they finished their meals.

"Let me know if you wish to meet up for meditation." Moira reminded Rey as they brought their empty plates to the rear of the cafeteria to be cleaned.

"I will." Rey said, nodding her head. They went their separate ways. Rey walked down the long halls of the bunker towards the room where she held her lessons. She had lessons five days a week. Two days with the padawans, two days with the adults, and one day for battle techniques. That day was shared between the children and the grown ups.

She entered the classroom to find most of the children already there. They were playing around making several of the classroom objects float in mid air with their powers. The remaining students soon filed in the classroom and she gave each of them a smile as they entered. They sat down cross legged on the floor as they started off their lessons with meditation. Rey walked around the classroom, quietly observing all of her students.

There was Wolf and Natal, one of the two brother and sister pairs. Natal, the oldest of her students, was very protective of her younger brother - no matter how annoying he could be.

Wolf was sitting near his three best friends, Gaten, Noah, and Caleb. The four boys had developed a tight bond with each other. They were also the most rambunctious of her students.

Then there was Temiri, the first orphan that Maz Kanata had come across in her galactic travels. The old woman loved to remind Rey how she knew the Force, though she did not possess it herself. Her knack of picking out Force sensitive's in a crowd of people had not failed her yet. Temiri was the oldest of the orphans. He was very bright and very kind.

Caleb's sister Erica sat up front near the other younger girls, Sadie and Jane. They sat next to the youngest two students in the class, Louie and Enzo.

Finally, there were the twins, Credence and Clarence. Even though they were identical, they couldn't be any more different from each other. Credence was quiet. Clarence was loud. Very loud.

Rey smiled, feeling proud of her accomplishments as a teacher. How ironic that over the years she became a successful teacher of the Force, having once needed the teacher herself. She felt a deep and prideful connection to each and every one of her students. Try as she might to not play favorites, everyone knew that honor went to Louie. Even Maz Kanata had once told her how special he was.

"Meditation is over." Rey said to her students. They stood up, whispering amongst themselves about what today's lessons would hold.

"Today we will go over object manipulation." Rey told the students. Natal raised her hand.

"Miss Rey, can we go over biological manipulation instead?" She asked.

"You just want to use that so Keery will go out on a date with you." Wolf sneered at his sister. His friends all laughed and Natal blushed.

"All right, all right. Settle down." Rey told the padawans. "Natal, biological manipulation is a much more complex task than you may think."

"Have you done it before Miss Rey?" Gaten asked.

"Once..." Rey admitted.

"Please tell us!"

"Yes! Do tell!"

Rey sighed.

"Fine. Prior to its destruction, I was kidnapped and held prisoner on Starkiller Base. I manipulated a Stormtrooper to release me from my confines, to leave the door open so I could escape, and for him to drop his blaster so that I had a weapon."

"OoooOoooo!" The class murmured, clearly impressed.

"But I did that a means to survive. Not to ask out the cutest guy on base." Rey continued, giving Natal a stern look. Natal frowned.

"Miss Rey thinks the General is the cutest guy on base." Wolf whispered, just loud enough for Rey to hear. The boys snickered. Rey hoped her face wasn't pink as she chose to ignore the comment.

"The larger the object is, the more energy it will take to manipulate it. Now I know you're all very adept at levitating things like books, toys, rocks, and holo pads. But let's try it on some heavier objects, shall we?"

"Yes Miss Rey." The class answered. She smiled at them.

"Good. Now, we're going to go on a bit of a walk. Follow me please."

The padawans lined up and filed down the hallway after Rey. The rowdy boys playfully pushed at each other as they made their way towards the hangar. As they walked, Rey felt a small hand slide into hers and she looked down to see Louie, shyly holding her hand.

"Did you have a good morning Lou?" She asked him with a smile.

"Yes ma'am." Louie replied.

She gave his hand a squeeze.

"I think you'll like today's lesson." She told him. He smiled back at her.

"I like all of your lessons Miss Rey." He said. She lightly laughed at this.

"I'm glad to hear that." She replied. With her free hand she ruffled his hair and he quickly smoothed it back down as they approached the hangar.

"Cool! Starships!!!" the older boys shouted as they ran towards the variety of ships parked in the spacious dome.

"Well, well, well - what brings you here?" said a voice to Rey's left. She turned and saw Poe Dameron approaching the group.

"Good morning General." Rey said to Poe. He grinned at her.

"Padawans?" Rey said to her students.

"Good morning General." They repeated in unison. He gave the children a salute as a show of thanks.

"I'm taking you up on your offer to let the padawans test their manipulation skills on the starships." Rey said to Poe. "This isn't a bad time, is it?" She asked him.

"No, not a bad time at all. Just... Do your thing." He said, waving a hand at her.

"Thanks Poe. You're the best." She said to him. He winked back at her, causing some of the students to giggle.

"Okay children. Around this way." She led the students around to the back of the hangar where the familiar sight of the Millennium Falcon made her heart swell. She loved that ship. She didn't get to fly it as much as she used to, but it was still her ship.

"Let's see if you can move the Falcon enough to wake up Chewy." She said to the padawans. They all giggled. She smirked, knowing the Wookiee was fast asleep onboard. As he got older, his hearing was starting to fade. She had inadvertently startled him a few times while performing maintenance on the freighter since he wouldn't hear her board. She laughed softly to herself at the memory.

"Okay. Make a circle around the ship." She instructed the students.

The students clambered to all stand next to their friends as they made a semi circle around the freighter.

"Now hold out your hands, and concentrate on lifting the ship. Just like we do with the rocks."

Several students shut their eyes. Others narrowed theirs in concentration. The flow of energy in the room tightened as they all focused their energy on the Falcon.

"Relax a bit Clarence." Rey instructed. The boy's shoulders noticeably relaxed as he heeded her teachings.

"Don't concentrate so hard Natal. Just feel the energy."

There was a sudden creak as one of the landing pods of the Falcon inched off the ground.

"That's it!" She praised the students. The students began to look at each other with looks of amazement. The ship creaked again as another landing pod was lifted.

"That's good! Keep it up." She said as she walked around the group.

The Falcon inched higher and higher. It was at least a foot off the ground by now. Other Resistance members had gathered around in the hangar to watch the display.

One of the padawans lost a bit of concentration and the back end of the freighter dipped backwards.

"Careful now Enzo." Rey cautioned.

"Yes ma'am." Enzo mumbled, embarrassed by his slip up.

There was suddenly a muffled roar from inside the Falcon and the children screamed. Rey shot her hand out just in time to catch the Falcon before it crashed back to the ground.

As Rey lowered the Falcon safely back on its landing pods, the ramp began to lower and Chewy grumbled fiercely. The children screamed again, this time followed by squeals of laughter.

Chewy roared at Rey and she just shrugged her shoulders.

"How else am I supposed to wake you up these days?" She asked the Wookiee. He just grumbled in response and pawed at his fur, still scraggily from his slumber.

The younger children swarmed the Wookiee, wanting to cling from his large arms and legs.

"May we try on the other starships Miss Rey?" Caleb asked.

"Just the small ones." She said with a nod.

"Hooray!" The kids cheered and they raced off through the hangar.

"Ask the pilots for permission first!" She called after them. Poe came over to her.

"Quite a display there." He said.

"I figured they'd get a kick out of it." She said with a smirk. He smiled back. An awkward silence settled in.

"You doin' all right?" He asked her. This time her smile had a hint of sadness in it.

"I'm okay." She answered, quickly glancing down.

"You know... You can always come to my place tonight." He said to her quietly.

"Poe..." She said to him, giving him a pointed look.

"I know, I know." He said hastily. "I'm just giving you the invite. That's all." He said, holding his hands up in defense.

Rey sighed. She was being rude and he was only trying to be nice.

"I know." She said. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right." He said, running a hand through his dark curls. "You look good today." He told her. She blushed.

"Thanks." She replied.

"Miss Rey can we go play outside with Chewy?" Erica asked as she hung from Chewys left arm.

"In a minute." She said to Erica. Rey turned back to Poe.

"Any word on First Order?" She asked Poe. He shook his head.

"As far as we know they're still hiding in the Deep Core." He said, his face becoming stern. Rey solemnly nodded in return.

"They'll be okay. Take them outside to play." Poe said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Rey took a deep breath and nodded to him again.

"I'll see you later." He said to her, leaning in and quickly giving her a peck on the cheek. She blushed again and hurried off after Chewy.

"Okay kids, we can go outside." She called to the padawans.

"Whoopee!!!!" cheered the kids.


	2. Miss Rey and the General

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously you guys, this isn't 100% Reylo so please don't be angry with me! I promise you will get a fabulous Reylo story as it continues.

The sun was bright as the children raced outside of the hangar. Rey still looked around cautiously as the padawans scattered amongst the grass.

The planet Nakadia was located in the Mid Rim. It was an agricultural planet that had once been the Capital location of the New Republic for one year cycle.

Prior to their retreat from Crait, General Leia Organa had received a message from a longtime ally, Mon Mothma, about a secret underground base that lie beneath the old Senate house in the city of Quarrow. The Resistance cautiously refueled and gathered supplies before making the trip to Nakadia. They had been here ever since.

After so many years in the sun, Rey found herself preferring to stay indoors. She felt safe in the bunkers. They were out of sight from the First Order. And for a long time, that was all that mattered.

"Hey Rey!" called a familiar voice. She turned to see Rose Tico heading towards her. She peeled off a pair of dirt covered gloves and gave her friend a hug.

"Nice to see you out and about." Rose said to Rey, giving her a smile. She glanced over her shoulder.

"Finn and I are harvesting the flax seed today." She said to Rey. Rey looked over and saw Finn wave to her, a handful of plant leaves and roots in his other hand. She waved back.

Rose waved to the padawans and some came racing over to her. Rose gave Temiri a big hug and Louie a kiss on the forehead. Enzo hurried over and he got a kiss as well.

"Miss Rey let us lift the Falcon with our powers this morning." Temiri told Rose.

"Did she now?" Rose asked.

"It was great! We got to wake Chewy up!" Louie chimed in. Rose laughed.

"I'm sure he didn't appreciate that." Rose said. The boys shook their head.

"Nope!" Louie laughed in reply. The boys waved to Finn and raced off again to join the other padawans.

"They're getting so big." Rose sighed as she watched the kids join in on a game of tag.

"Don't remind me." Rey said, sighing.

"I remember when I first met Temiri, back in the stables on Canto Bight. And now look at him. He's almost a teenager."

"That's what kids do." Finn said, coming over and leaning an elbow on Rose's shoulder. She playfully brushed his arm off and he instead wrapped it around her waist. "They grow up."

Finn nodded his chin at Rey.

"You see Poe this morning?" He asked her.

"I did. Briefly." Rey answered. "Still nothing."

Finn nodded his head.

"Good." He said. "Hopefully Wexley comes back with a helpful report."

Rey nodded as well. Finn gave Rey a quick hug before retreating back into one of the many gardens that surrounded the Senate grounds.

The Resistance had taken advantage of the unique soil found on Nakadia and grew their own crops. To a stranger visiting the Quarrow for the first time, the Senate house looked like a regal farm. The perfect ruse for the classified operations that ran below.

Rey turned back to Rose.

"Still haven't told him?" She asked. Rose blushed and looked around to make sure Finn wasn't within earshot.

"Is it that obvious?" Rose asked Rey quietly.

"Well, for me it is." Rey said to her.

"I was meaning to... But he's been so caught up with the incoming reports and worrying.... It just didn't seem like the right time." Rose explained.

"You never know. It might help make things better." She said to her friend. Rose looked down at fiddled with her gloves.

"I guess..." She mumbled.

"I mean, it's either that or he'll find out once you balloon like a Shaak."

Rose laughed lightly. Rey gave Rose another hug.

"You'll be a great mum." Rey told her. Rose teared up slightly.

"Thank you Rey. That means a lot." She said, sniffing. Rey smiled at Rose.

A cry rang out and Rey looked over at the children playing. Louie had fallen down and had apparently hurt his knee.

"Want to take this one? You'll need all the parenting experience you can get." Rey said to Rose.

"I think I should tell Finn first." Rose said with a smile. "This one's all on you."

Rey gave a quick smile before hurrying over to the kids.

"Are you okay?" Rey asked Louie as she knelt down to examine the boys knee as some of the other kids watched on.

"Yes ma'am." Louie sniffled.

She helped him off the ground and brushed off the bits of grass that clung to his pant legs.

"Be careful now." She said to them.

"Yes ma'am!" The children replied and they were off and running again as if nothing had happened.

Rey looked over at Rose and Finn in the gardens. She couldn't hear them from where she stood but it was clear that Rose had finally delivered the news of her pregnancy to Finn. He swung her around happily, grinning ear to ear. His face then changed to fear, worried he had hurt his unborn child by swinging her around. He placed a hand on Roses currently flat stomach and wrapped her up in a close embrace, followed by a kiss.

Rey felt a tear slide from her eye and she quickly whisked it away.

"All right padawans, time to come inside." She called to the kids.

They took a break for lunch before retreating back to the classroom for more meditation. This time she joined them, sitting upon a faded blue cushion in front of her students. As she calmed her mind, the image of Rose and Finns happy news kept replaying itself over in her mind. She was happy for them. She truly was. They would make great parents. Even the members of the Resistance would help them raise their child.

The Resistance itself was one big family of sorts in a way. Everyone took care of everyone at the base. Especially the children. As their teacher, Rey looked after them during the day. Rose would check on the children while Rey taught her lessons to the adults. Sometimes Natal would take over if Rose was busy. Moira watched them on occasion as well, but that was usually when there was some sort of First Order related drama. Thankfully there hadn't much of that as of late.

"Miss Rey?" came a voice. Rey opened her eyes.

"Are you okay? You're crying." Jane asked her teacher. Rey hastily wiped at her face.

"I'm all right. Meditation.... Can just make me emotional sometimes..." She explained. She smiled at the girl and Jane gave her a sympathetic smile back.

"Mediation makes me gassy." Clarence spoke up. The children burst into laughter. Natal had a grossed out look on her face. Rey couldn't help but giggle.

"That's enough Clarence, settle down. Back to your meditation." She said, composing herself.

~~~~~

Later that evening, Rey and Moira were laughing as they walked down the halls of the dorms.

"And then he said 'meditation makes me gassy'!" Rey laughed, retelling the story from the lessons with the padawans. Moira laughed.

"That little boy is too funny sometimes." Moira said. She glanced at Rey curiously.

"You seem in a better mood than you were this morning."

"I am. A little." Rey replied, shrugging a shoulder. "Work helps."

Moira nodded.

"Well I'm glad. I will see you tomorrow at lessons. Goodnight!" Moira said to Rey. Rey smiled at her friend as she went into her room. Rey continued down the hall and peeked into an open door.

Temiri, Louie, and Enzo were sitting on the floor, playing with old parchment playing cards Rey had found on the Falcon.

"Lights out in fifteen minutes boys." She told them, leaning her head into the room.

"Yes ma'am." They responded to her. She retreated and turned, seeing Poe coming down the hallway to her.

"General." She said cheekily to him. He grinned.

"Hey." He said to her. He paused as a couple passed them on the way to their dorms.

"General." They said, nodding to him as they passed. Poe nodded to them in return. He turned back to Rey.

"Listen, Snap is going to be back any moment with the report from Coruscant. I'll be in the Dome waiting his arrival."

The Dome was what Poe called the area in which all the communications came in. It's where the ComLinks were as well as their high tech projections system. It was called the Dome because of its rounded structure and curved ceiling.

"I'll come by after I've gone over the report." He said.

"All right." Rey replied. "I'll probably still be up by then. I've got a basket of tunics that need mending for the padawans."

Poe sighed, giving her a light smirk.

"I love how you can sew." He said.

"Only because you're so horrible at it." She chided him.

"Hey, I tried." He said, grinning. He of course was talking about his pathetic attempt at patching up his old bomber jacket, the one he lent to his best pal Finn when they first met.

"I know you tried. You should stick to piloting. That's what you're good at."

"That and politics." He reminded her. She made a face.

"What? I'm not doing a good job?" He asked, frowning.

"You like to blow stuff up." She said.

"But it works." He said.

"Sometimes." She replied. He smiled at her and looked at his watch.

"I gotta go." He said. He leaned in close, capturing her lips this time in a soft kiss.

"Ooooo! Miss Rey and the General!!!" came a childish declaration from behind them.

Poe whirled around and saw Temiri, Louie, and Enzo sticking their heads out their door, having seen them kiss. The younger boys giggled.

"Hey!" Poe said loudly. "Isn't it past your bedtime?" He asked them. They shook their heads. Poe looked at Rey. She looked at her watch.

"You have ten minutes." She said to the boys. They hurried back in their room. Poe rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"I'll... Just go." He said. Rey pressed her lips together and nodded at him, replying with 'Mmmhmm.'

After Poe had departed, Rey popped her head back into the boys room, seeing them having crawled into their beds.

"Goodnight boys." She said to them.

"Goodnight Miss Rey."

"Goodnight ma'am."

Rey dimmed their light and shut the door. She walked next door to her own room and entered, shutting the door behind her.

She observed her room. Her notebook lay where she left it this morning on the desk top. The basket of the tunics sat on the floor next to the desk chair. She went to her bedside table and rummaged inside for her sewing kit.

She brightened the lantern on her desk so she could see better in the windowless room. She grabbed the first of the tunics out of the basket and laid it on the desk, pushing the notebook aside. She thread a needle and began to repair a ripped seam.

As the evening went on, Rey was able to finish two tunics. She folded the second tunic, placing it neatly on top of the first. She reached for a third and was fumbling with the fabric to position her needle when it happened.

The sensation she hadn't felt in so long.

The thickening of the air. The intensity of an aura. She felt as if she had gone temporarily deaf as there was shift of sound. She felt sick to her stomach, knowing his gaze was upon her.

"Hello Rey."

The deep voice sounded closer than it actually was. She was so nervous she accidentally pricked herself with the sewing needle. 

She sucked in a deep breath before answering in her best blank and emotionless tone.

"Hello Ben."


	3. Today

It had been years since they last connected. She was too frazzled to think of the exact number of days. How dare he visit her on today of all days?

She wiped the blood from her pricked finger on the wrap of linen around her waist. The wound continued to bleed. She had no choice but to get up and go get a bandage.

She tried to ignore his intense gaze as she got up from her desk chair and went to her bedside table. She quickly found a bandage.

"You've gained weight." He said.

She slammed the drawer shut loud and whirled around on him.

"Do you realize how rude it is to comment on a woman's weight?" She snapped at him.

She wasn't oblivious to the fact she had gained weight. It was to be expected. She had access to food at the base for one thing. No more scavenging to earn a measly meal portion. In addition to a healthy diet, there was the fact she had kept herself harbored inside the bunker for the past five years. Her only source of exercise was her lessons with the students. And on top of all that, she was helping care for the children - which was another job in itself entirely.

She was a bit taken aback by his appearance as well.

"You've got facial hair." She blurted.

He rubbed a gloved hand thoughtfully at the patch of dark hair on his chin. It wasn't enough to be considered a beard. It didn't look bad, she had to admit. It was just a bit jarring to see. She had never seen him anything but clean shaven before.

"Yes." He replied simply, putting his hand down.

"What do you want." She said to him as she hurried back to her chair, busying herself with wrapping her finger with the bandage.

"Do you know what today is?" He asked softly.

Rey sat down hard in her desk chair facing away from him. That jerk. Of course he would bring up today.

"I prefer not to think about it." She said haughtily.

There was a pause of silence.

"I do." He answered.

Rey huffed. Of course he would reflect on that damn day. Well, it's not like she didn't either. It was hard not to. Practically impossible.

"I'm perfectly aware what today is so you've wasted your time coming here to remind me." She said as she snatched up the tunic she had been trying to mend.

"I didn't just come here for that." He said. She could feel him step closer to her. She continued to keep her head down.

"We'll be launching an attack tomorrow." He told her, his voice serious. She snorted.

"That's kind of what you do though, isn't it?" She replied snarkily.

"We're attacking the Resistance." He continued.

Rey felt her heart drop to her stomach.

Ever since they became established on Nakadia, they had been preparing for war with the First Order. They had a chance, oh yes they did. But who knows what kind of new technology the First Order had been working on in secret while they were in the Deep Core.

There were so many questions to ask him. So many things to say.

"Why are you telling me this?" She asked, still not turning around.

"I think you know why." was his answer. She frowned to herself.

"Believe me, this has nothing to do with what today is." He said.

"Oh I find that really hard to believe Ben." She said as she stabbed the sewing needle through the ripped seam of the tunic in her lap. "You come in here after.... What? Four years? To remind me of what today is? Then you tell me the First Order is going to attack the Resistance tomorrow. And you expect me to believe that your attack just HAPPENS to be the day after today?"

"It wasn't my idea."

"That's a bunch of Bantha crap, Ben. You're the Supreme Leader."

"I have a council. They're allowed their input."

"Input my ass." She muttered.

"I heard that."

"Good!" She nearly shouted.

There was another pause between them.

"Rey....." He said softly again. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head vehemently.

"No." She answered.

"Rey.... Please look at me."

She shook her head again.

She heard Ben exhale a sigh and he walked around to stand beside her desk chair. She kept dragging the sewing needle back and forth through the seam, trying to ignore him.

"What are you doing?" He asked her.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She snapped back.

"These are too small for you." He commented. Ben paused, looking at the neatly folded tunics on top of the desk. He reached to touch one and she quickly moved them to the side away from him.

"Are these for the padawans?" He asked quietly.

She was going to throw up. She was sure she would. She swallowed deeply. Ben sighed again.

"Rey, I know you're teaching the Force to people." He said annoyed. "I don't know what you think you can hide from me. I can feel their signatures. There's.... About a dozen padawans? And perhaps around twenty adults?"

"Your fight is with the Resistance, not them." She said quickly.

"As far as the First Order is concerned, they are a part of the Resistance." Ben told her.

"That's not fair." She said to him.

"Life isn't fair." He replied harshly. She frowned again. She could not argue with that one, on more levels than one.

"So... What? You expect me to thank you for the heads up?" She sassed.

"I know you appreciate it, even though your tone suggests otherwise." He said cooly, tilting his head to the side at her. "You seem to have forgotten how well we know each other. How alike we are."

'Yeah right.' She thought.

"Rey...." He said again, this time reaching for her with his hand.

She didn't know why but she let him delicately touch her chin with his gloved hand, allowing him to turn her head towards him. He tilted her head upwards and their eyes met. Damn him and his sad eyes. Those damn eyes.

"I've missed you." He admitted to her, staring directly into her eyes.

She came to her senses and pushed his hand away, blinking away tears.

"Goodbye Ben." She said, making it clear she did not want to speak with him anymore this evening.

The ass didn't even say goodbye back. The whirring sound of the air filtration system of the bunker returned as he left. The heaviness around her dissipated but she still was reeling from their conversation.

She flung the tunic on her desk and buried her head in her arms on top of the fabric. She cried heaving sobs into the linens. She had no idea how long she cried, but what she did know was that half the tears were bottled up from months of pent up frustrations she kept to herself.

When the tears ceased she brushed a hand at the wrinkles of the tunic. She made a mental note to wash this one before returning the mended tunics to the respective students. She sniffled and reached for the needle, quickly finishing the repair.

She was halfway done with the next tunic when a quick knock rattled the door.

"Come in." She called.

Poe slid in, looking back out the door as if he was trying to be sneaky. There really was no point, the entire base knew Poe had an interesting relationship with Rey.

"Still working on those tunics?" He asked her as he shut the door behind him. She nodded.

"I only have one left." She said, indicating the near empty basket that lay at her feet.

Poe's face fell. He couldn't even see her face as her back was to the door, but he knew. She had been crying. Rey rarely cried, so this could only mean one thing.

He looked around the room as if expecting to see someone else.

"He was here, wasn't he?" Poe said darkly. Rey sighed and nodded her head.

"Yes."

Poe hurried over to her and crouched down next to her chair.

"Did he hurt you? Are you okay?" He asked her, grabbing for one of her hands to hold.

"He didn't hurt me. I'm fine." Rey said, taking her hand back from Poe.

"You're not fine." Poe told her, shaking his head. "You're upset."

"Of course I'm upset Poe." Rey said exasperated. "I thought I was done with seeing him."

"It's been like... three years since you last spoke?" Poe guessed.

"Four." Rey corrected.

Poe made a face like that didn't make a difference. At least to him it didn't.

"Well." Poe said as he stood. "What did he want?"

"He said they're coming. Tomorrow."


	4. Grand Theft Autumn

*briefly inspired by 'Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy' by Fall Out Boy*

Poe sauntered into the Dome after speaking with Rey in the hall. He settled himself in a worn leather chair and kicked his feet up onto the dash of a ComLink.

"General Dameron, sir. Commander Wexleys ship just requested clearance to land. He will be with you shortly." C3-PO reported to him.

"Great, thanks." Poe said, waving the protocol droid away. A different droid rolled up to greet him. The round droid beeped to Poe in a happy tone.

"Yeah, I went and saw her." Poe said to BB-8. BB-8 gave a flirty whistle in response.

"You know it's not like that." Poe said to BB-8, shaking his head. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hands down his face.

Over the years, Rey and himself had become increasingly close. What started out as a friendship had blossomed into... Well, if he was being honest, a complex friendship. They weren't dating, far from it. The most intimate they'd ever been was a few make out sessions here and there. Granted they were two very busy individuals. Him, as the leader of the Resistance. Her, with teaching the ways of the Force. There really wasn't time for a real relationship.

Still, there were a few nights where if one of them was having a bad time - like today for example - they'd share a bed. Just another warm body for comfort. Nothing more.

It's not like Poe didn't try to move things along, he did. Rey was just a very stubborn and complicated person. Poe wasn't stupid. He knew there were others that came before him in her life. And that included a certain individual she was still hung up on, with good reason.

He grumbled, frustrated at the thought of him.

'Maybe he won't find out what I know.' Poe thought to himself, trying to cheer himself up in the moment.

He hated the man, probably more than he cared to acknowledge. But Rey was the best thing about the Resistance. Her heart and mind were as strong as her powers. She was special to everyone in the Resistance in one way or another. Maybe he was tired of sharing. Maybe he was tired of Rey's struggle to leave the past behind and move on. But he was in no place to ask that of her. This was a conclusion she had to come to on her own.

Snap Wexley entered the Dome and Poe took his feet off the ComLink and swiveled in his chair.

"Snap! What's the word from Coruscant?" Poe eagerly asked. Snap took off his helmet as he approached.

"The First Order remains in the Deep Core. No significant movement has been recorded." Snap reported to Poe, shaking his head sadly.

"You said 'significant'." Poe repeated to Snap. "What does that mean?"

"Well, Coruscant scanners have detected smaller crafts in the area, but the host ship remains stationed above the moon of Fex."

"How many smaller crafts we talking about?"

"About half a dozen." Snap replied.

Poe ran a hand through his hair and pursed his mouth in thought.

"All right. I'll send word along to Threnalli to keep watch on the base from his station on Chandrila."

"Good idea sir." Snap said, nodding to Poe. Snap exited the Dome as Poe turned back around and typed in the ComLink.

"Threnalli, I'm going to need you to keep post on Chandrila for the time being. Let me know if there is any movement from the First Order, any movement at all." He commanded.

"You got it General." came the reply from the Abednedo Captain.

Poe stood up from his chair and BB-8 curiously beeped at him.

"Because I told her I'd come by after Snap got back." Poe said to the droid. BB-8 made another suggestive comment to Poe.

"Just... Don't wait up for me, all right?" Poe said to BB-8. BB-8 saluted Poe with one of his extender attachments.

Poe walked back through the base towards the dorms. He glanced down the hall in either direction before giving a quick rapt at Rey's door with his knuckles.

"Come in." came her muffled reply.

He opened the door wide enough for him to enter in sideways. He cautiously slid in, glancing back out into the hallway, making sure he wasn't seen.

"Still working on those tunics?" He asked, shutting the door behind him. Her back was to him as she sat at her desk. He could see her nod.

"I only have one left." She said, briefly gesturing at the woven basket that sat on the

There was a noticeable difference in her voice. She was intentionally shielding her face from him. He instantly knew she had been crying. He could count all the times he saw her cry on one hand. He knew what had happened. He looked around the room, almost expecting to be jumped out at.

"He was here, wasn't he?" He asked angrily. Rey sighed and nodded her head.

"Yes."

He hurried over to her, crouching down next to her chair.

"Did he hurt you? Are you okay?" He asked her, taking one of her hands in his and cradling it.

"He didn't hurt me. I'm fine." She took back her hand.

"You're not fine. You're upset."

"Of course I'm upset Poe. I thought I was done with seeing him." Rey said frustrated.

"It's been what, three years since you last spoke?"

"Four." She corrected him. He made a face at this. He stood.

"Well. What did he want?"

"He said they're coming. Tomorrow."

Poe's face became ashen.

"Gods Rey! That should have been the first thing out of your mouth to me!" He yelled at her.

"You went straight into asking about him! You didn't give me a chance." She yelled back.

Poe began to pace in the room and ran a hand down his face. He was too anxious to apologize for yelling. His mind was running a mile a minute.

Snap had said there had been minimal movement from the First Order. If they indeed were attacking tomorrow, this could only mean that the First Order was intentionally sending their troops out bit by bit to avoid an obvious attack by sending them all at once. This would result in being hit from all sides, ships hiding at every angle. They could handle that, sure. The flight crews were hand picked and trained by him. Hell, if he had to he'd to, he'd even go up there with them. But would it be an easy task? No.

Poe had just barely begun to contemplate the fact that the Supreme Leader had tipped Rey off. His mind jumped to conclusions, thinking this was a trap. But it couldn't be a coincidence that the First Order ships were showing slight movements AND Rey was warned at the same time. It could be, but if the last few years as General taught him anything, it was that he needed to slow down and think plans through. The base was his responsibility. There were more lives than just his own. There were families down here. Rey would never let him live it down if anything happen to the padawans.

Poe moved to sit down on the edge of Rey's bed and sighed, putting his head in his hands. Why was he so panicked? They've been training and planning for this for years. They knew this was going to happen eventually. Why did he feel so unprepared?

Rey politely kept quiet even though she could softly hear his inner turmoil through the Force. Finally, Poe spoke.

"Do you believe him?" Poe asked her.

The question was straight forward but Rey had several varying answers.

Did she believe the First Order would attack tomorrow? Yes.

Did she know why he told her of the attack? Yes.

Did she believe he missed her? She did.

Did she believe that the day of the attack was pure coincidence? She remained torn on that one.

"I believe they will attack tomorrow." She said to Poe.

Poe sighed.

"I guess I'll break the news to everyone in the morning." He said, placing his hands on his thighs and leaning forward. "Better let everyone get a good nights sleep."

Rey nodded in response.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the attack first." Rey said as she fiddled with the fabric in her lap.

"I'm sorry I yelled." Poe apologized in return.

"It's all right." She said, looking down. "I understand that you're under a lot of pressure right now."

"I wish he wouldn't come around at all." Poe admitted to her, slightly changing the subject.

"That makes two of us." Rey said.

It was quiet as the two of them sat there solemnly.

"Did... Did you talk to Finn or Rose today?" Rey asked Poe. Poe slightly sat up.

"Yeah.... I did, actually." He said. "That's something, huh? A baby."

"Mmmhmm." Rey said.

It was quiet again as the weight of the partial responsibility of this new life was loaded onto Poe's shoulders. Poe let his mind wander for a minute.

"Did he say anything else to you?"

Rey shrugged.

"He knows I'm training others in the Force."

Poe frowned a little.

"But I thought he couldn't see other people. Just you." Poe asked, feeling confused.

"Yes, but that doesn't stop him from being able to feel the presence of other Force users. It's not a surprise he was able to sense them. There's quite a few around here."

Poe was silent for a moment.

"If you see him.... Are you going to tell him?"


	5. Here Without You

*briefly inspired by 'Here Without You' by Three Doors Down*

"Goodbye Ben."

He knew when he wasn't wanted. A fleeting sense of guilt passed through him as he felt himself return back to his own cruiser without saying goodbye in return.

He turned and angrily kicked over a chair. His hand went to his side to grab for his saber but he stopped himself. No, not today. He wouldn't resort to another destructive tantrum. That would just get Hux involved and Hux would know he had gone to see her, which would not bode well for the First Orders attack plans.

The attack was already underway. The first wave of troops had already departed from the three flagships remaining in the First Order - the Subjugator, the Absolution, and the Finalizer. They'd lie in wait at the decided upon locations, waiting for the signal to begin the trek and subsequent attack upon Nakadia.

Ben picked up the chair he had kicked over, setting it upright and heaving himself into its seat.

What was he thinking? Going and seeing her. Warning her even. She didn't deserve it. He should have let her be caught off guard, scrambling for survival. But deep down, he knew he couldn't bear for that to happen to her.

He reflected on their discussion. She said it had been four years since their last connection. That was only partially true. They had connected sporadically for two years after their last face to face conversation, but she had always been asleep. Yes, it was an invasion of privacy for him to visit her as she slept, but it was the only way he could see her without her trying to shut him out. The visitations ceased after he connected to her one particular evening and he found her in bed, not alone.

He never found out who the man was. All he remembered was seeing Rey fast asleep, a content look on her face, while a tan arm had itself draped across her side. The mans face was buried in her shoulder, his dark hair barely visible in the dim light of the lantern. Ben had quickly retreated from the scene and immediately destroyed his training facility out of anger.

He then threw himself into an intense training regimen, kept busy with travel - even if that meant spending awful amounts of time with Hux - just to keep from connecting to her again. But even though the connections had roughly ceased, he was still haunted by her in his dreams. Or maybe that meant they were nightmares. Try as he might, he still couldn't get her off his mind, even after all this time.

His thoughts wandered back to tonight. Even though she was not open to discussing the significance of today with him, she at least acknowledged it. He was mildly hurt the memory was so unpleasant to her. He did not share this sentiment however. It heavily played into why he warned her tonight, even though he would have tried to deny that fact if she had asked.

She had asked why he warned her of the First Orders incoming arrival. His answer was vague, hoping she would fill in the blank. He wanted her to say it, and she knew it. But Rey was smart, so she didn't give in to him as he had hoped. Another factor for his feelings of anger this evening.

Speaking of his anger, he was angry she was training those with the Force. In his ideal reign, there would be no Jedi. This complicated things. Potentially, it could also complicate tomorrows battle, as this meant there were additional threats. And as untrained as Rey had been, he knew her students would be just as skilled as she. He decided then and there that if the others began to interfere with the battle, he would be the one to handle them.

Ben sighed and ran a hand through his thick hair as the realization set in that he would be facing her tomorrow as well. For real this time. Images of her flashed through his mind. His brash comment about her weight tonight had upset her. It wasn't meant to be rude. It was the first thing that came to his mind. He couldn't help but notice her fuller chest and hips. To him, it only accentuated her beauty. She had always been beautiful to him, and she always would be.

He kicked off his large boots and kicked them to the side. He stood as he took off his gloves, leaving them on the seat of the chair. It would be a restless night with the dark cloud of the upcoming battle hanging over his head. He headed towards his bedroom where he would attempt to sleep, knowing full well he would dream of her again tonight.

~~~~~~

There was a soft knock at Rey's door. She woke with a start. She felt as if she had just fallen asleep, having tossed and turned after Poe departed. Perhaps he had changed his mind...

Rey sleepily crossed her room to the door and opened it.

Louie stood there, sniffling, hugging a plush toy.

"Oh Lou...." Rey said sadly, kneeling down. "Did you have a nightmare?" She asked the boy.

In the dim lights of the bunker hallway, he nodded.

"Come on now." Rey said. She laid a hand on his shoulder and directed him back to his room next door.

Temiri and Enzo were fast asleep on their bunk bed. Temiris arm hung over the side of the upper bunk. Enzo lightly stirred and turned over as the light from the hall crept in.

Louie crawled back into his bed, still sniffling. Rey pulled up the covers around him and lightly tucked the sides into him.

"Miss Rey?" He asked her quietly.

"Mmm?" She asked him, brushing back the mess of hair on his forehead.

"Do you love the General?"

She was briefly shocked by his question. It was very straightforward.

"In a way..." She replied slowly.

"But I love you." Louie mumbled. Rey could feel her heart melt.

"Lou, love has a very broad meaning." She sighed.

"What does that mean?" He asked, his eyes sad and confused.

"Well... Love doesn't just mean you like somebody. Love also means you care deeply about someone besides yourself. I care about the General very much. Just like how I care about Rose. And Finn. And you. And the other students."

Lou frowned as he processed this.

"So you can love both of us?"

Rey softly chuckled.

"Yes." She answered. She looked down at the boy.

"Did you really have a nightmare? Or is this because you saw the General kiss me?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No. I had a nightmare. Honest." His little voice squeaked.

"Go back to sleep. You'll be fine." She quickly brushed a kiss on his forehead. She straightened from his bedside.

"I'll see you in the morning." She said to him. She could see him nod back to her by the light from the hallway. As she shut the door, she stared at it for a moment. She said she would see him in the morning. Would she see him in the morning? The First Order was coming, that was for sure. But she didn't know when. She pressed a hand against the door, leaned her head down and sighed. She prayed that she would see him again.

Her alarm woke her up as usual in the morning. That was at least a good sign. Her stomach twisted as she got ready for the day. She opened up her bedside drawer and took out two metallic objects. First, her lightsaber. She clipped it to her belt around her waist. The second, the blaster Han Solo had given her when they first met. She placed the blaster into a holster and slid it out of sight underneath the folds of her linen. Having an extra weapon on her made her feel at least a little safer.

She hastily scribbled in her journal before exiting her room. She went to check on the boys next door first. She looked inside the open door, seeing only neatly made beds. She smiled to herself. They must have already gone to breakfast.

Rey hurried down to the cafeteria. Everything seemed like just another normal day. It wouldn't be long before their worlds would be turned upside down. She had no appetite this morning but she knew she had to eat something. She quickly grabbed a piece of toasted bread and a glass of juice. She only picked at the bread. She could only stomach the juice. The padawans chatted and laughed like usual at their nearby table.

Her heart began to beat very fast as she saw Poe enter the cafeteria. He walked to the middle of the room and pulled up a chair, stepping on top of it so that he could be seen by all.

"Attention everyone!" He called out.

The clinking and clanking of utensils briefly ceased. A hush fell over the room. All heads turned to him. Rey could see Poe take a deep breath, his eyes surveying the crowd sadly.

"We've received a report last night. It seems the First Order will be launching an attack on us..... Today."


	6. Lock Down

"If you see him.... Are you going to tell him?"

His words stung. Poe could be asking one of two things. She of course had an answer for both. She'd rather answer one over the other - but she was sure he wanted to know the answer she'd rather not give.

"I'm not stupid Rey." Poe continued as she declined to acknowledge his question.

"How long have you known?" She whispered.

Poe stood up from the bed and began to pace again. He had his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"A while." He admitted.

Rey hung her head and she squeezed her eyes shut, praying that the tears that begged to flow would keep at bay.

"How long is a while?" She asked. He shrugged.

"Since around the time Leia died."

That made sense. She reached for the last of the tunics from the basket.

"Did she tell you?"

Poe shook his head.

"Nah..... I had my suspicions. But some of Leia's last words to me confirmed it."

"Does... Does anybody else know?"

She feared the answer. Again, Poe shrugged.

"I mean, I think everybody had their suspicions in the beginning... Finn sort of forgot about it over time and I don't think Rose ever questioned it."

Of course. Good old Rose. Never seeing the bad in anybody.

"Rey..." Poe said quietly, taking a step towards her. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Why wouldn't you tell anybody?"

"Would you?" Rey asked, a little too loudly. She could feel herself becoming irrationally emotional. "Would you want people to know?"

Poe frowned at her outburst. He struggled to answer.

"I don't know Rey... I.... I guess not.... You know, considering his history..."

"Exactly." Rey snapped.

"Rey, I'm not angry at you for it." Poe said, stepping towards her again. "It doesn't change how I feel about you..."

Rey audibly sighed. So it was turning into THAT kind of conversation tonight?

"That has nothing to do with this." She said to him, shaking her head.

Poe sighed as well and slowly nodded.

"You're right... I'm sorry. I just meant you shouldn't have had to hide it all these years."

"Of course I did." Rey shot back.

"Are you sure about that?"

Rey turned her head and glared at him.

"You know damn well I had all the reasons in the galaxy to keep it to myself." She said angrily to him. Poe sighed again.

"I understand you had your reasons, Rey. I... I just wish you had been more honest with us. We're your friends."

Rey hung her head, lowering her mending into her lap.

Poe had a point. She should have been more honest with her friends about the secrets she had been harboring. She felt ashamed, almost as if she had betrayed her friends. It was never her intention to hurt their feelings, so rather than come clean, she kept the truth to herself for fear of rejection.

But Poe was right. He, Finn, and Rose were her closest friends. They would have understood. They wouldn't have abandoned her as she had feared. Rey pressed her hands to her face as the tears forced their way out.

"You're right Poe.... I should I told you." She cried.

Poe came around the chair and knelt down like he had earlier. He wrapped an arm around her and laid his head on her shoulder.

"It's okay." He said in a quiet and soothing tone. He held her until her sobs subsided. She sniffled as she picked the tunic back up, hastily finishing her sewing. Poe removed his arm from her and stood.

"So what will you do? If you see him?" Poe asked again.

Rey chewed her lip as she folded the tunic, placing it on top of the others.

"I doubt I'll see him." She said, shaking her head once more. "He'll probably stay on his cruiser, safe from the battle."

"But if you do....." Poe pressed. Rey stood, her hands balled into fists.

"If I can't even tell my friends, what makes you think I'll tell HIM?" She shouted. Poe frowned at her.

"You said it yourself Rey. You never know. It might help make things better."

Rey felt as if she had been slapped. How did he even know that's what she had said to Rose? Rose must have told him....

"You're using my words against me?" She asked Poe incredulously. He just shook his head and paced away from her.

"It wouldn't make things better. You know what he's like." Rey continued.

"Yes, but you know him better than any of us." Poe countered. She frowned.

"I'm not going to tell him." She said firmly. Poe scoffed.

"Fine. You're only going to bring more hurt the longer you keep it to yourself." Poe lectured her.

Rey was not having it. She was done talking. She was done with this topic. She was done with today.

She stood there with her arms crossed, watching Poe mulling things over in his head. Finally he stopped his pacing.

"I ought to get going." He said to her.

"I thought you were wanting to stay." Rey found herself saying, now feeling guilty she had ran him off.

"I think it's better if I don't." Poe replied.

Rey just nodded. Poe sighed and stepped forward. He hesitated, teetering on whether or not he was going to kiss her. He didn't. He stepped back and turned towards the door.

"Goodnight Rey." He said to her as he opened the door.

"Goodnight Poe."

~~~~~~

Poe felt lucky to have gotten any sleep last night. His argument with Rey on top of the impending attack kept him awake most of the night. Not to mention BB-8 had kept pestering him about what happened between he and Rey when he returned to his own suite that evening.

"Good morning General." C3-PO said to Poe as Poe trudged into the Dome with heavy footsteps. C3-PO handed Poe a mug of hot caf.

"Thanks Threepio." Poe gruffly thanked the droid. "Do me and call everyone to the cafeteria. I've got an announcement to make."

"Right away sir. Oh my. An announcement!" C3-PO hobbled away down the hall.

Poe sat in his chair in front of the large projection table. He sipped at his caf with one hand, typing away with the other.

"Captain Threnalli. Any word on the First Order?" Poe asked into the ComLink. A garbled projection appeared moments later.

"Two more departures of approximately ten trooper shuttles each." came Threnalli's reply. Poe sighed.

"Pull out. Make your way back to the base, but don't land. And be careful. Use the cloaking mechanisms if you have to."

"Right away General."

The communication ended. Poe drained the rest of his caf and set the mug aside. He got up and strode down to the cafeteria, his heart pounding.

A crowd was beginning to gather. People moved aside as they saw him trying to pass through into the mess hall.

"What's this about Poe?" Finn asked Poe at the entrance to the hall.

"You're about to find out." was all Poe said.

He approached the middle of the room and pulled out a chair, stepping on top of it so that he could be seen by all.

"Attention everyone!"

An eerie silence fell over the room. He looked around at all the wondering eyes staring at him. He took a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself to break the news.

"We received a report last night. It seems the First Order will be launching an attack on us..... Today."

There was an instantaneous rabble as the news was not well received. There were shouts of worry, shouts of anger. Rose placed a hand over her stomach and Finn pulled her close into his side to comfort her. Rey looked over at the table of her students, some of them returning her gaze.

"All right, all right!" Poe shouted in an attempt to calm the crowd.

"Now we've known this day was going to come eventually." He said. "We have been preparing and training for this day for years. I am officially initiating a lock down."

There was another rumble of emotions from the room.

"Everyone will need to report to their designated safe spots, just like in the drills."

The drills he mentioned were the safety drills they had every few months or so to better prepare everyone in case of a surprise attack. People such as the pilots and the ranked Resistance officers would gather in the Dome, while the families would take shelter in the bunkers. Rey's classroom was the designated safe spot in her wing of the bunkers where a head count would take place.

"We've got eyes on the outside ready to assist us. Now everyone remain CALM!" He emphasized the last word. "And get to your stations."

The mood of the room was heavy as people made to leave the cafeteria. Some returned their breakfast plates, others abandoned them on the table tops. Rey sighed as she glanced at the padawans table, seeing the multiple trays left behind. She grabbed her glass and half eaten toast and cleaned up after herself and the students.

She held her head down as she made her way down to the bunkers. She would go join the others in the Dome when the children were all squared away in their rooms. She entered the classroom. It was already very crowded. Thirty two people were assigned in this wing. She began to count.

She circled the room, counting in her head. The families hung close together, parents keeping a protective eyes over their children as they milled about the classroom. Natal was in the corner, flirting with Keery, a bronze haired boy who was the son of one of her adult students. Temiri stood next to her, telling something to Enzo.

Rey frowned. She counted again. Twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty, thirty one.... One was missing. Louie.

She passed through the crowd of people towards the back of the room, careful that she hadn't overlooked him, perhaps sitting down on a chair. He wasn't back here either. Rey turned around and approached Natal.

"Natal, have you seen Louie?" Rey asked her.

Natal turned from Keery and gave Rey a confused look.

"What do you mean? I thought he was with you."


	7. Her Deepest Secret

"What do you mean? I thought he was with you."

Rey couldn't believe what she was hearing. She shook her head.

"He's not with me. Where is he?"

"He said he was going to the hangar. I assumed you were there getting Chewy."

"So you just let him go alone?" Rey asked, flabbergasted. "He's almost FIVE. Why would you let him go wandering to the hangar alone???"

"Well I thought he was meeting you there!" Natal said, becoming flustered. Rey quickly turned to Temiri. She grabbed him by his shoulder.

"Temiri. Have you seen Louie?" She asked, panicked. Temiri looked startled.

"He said he wanted to go get Chewy." Temiri said, frowning. Rey's heart was nearly pounding out of her chest.

"You two stay put." She said sternly to the boys. They nodded. Rey moved through the crowd and grabbed for Moira's arm.

"Rey! What's wrong?" Moira asked.

"Moira, Louie's gone to the hangar. I need you to make sure everyone gets to their rooms for me." Rey asked of her friend. Moira quickly nodded. Rey raced from the room.

'Just calm down'. She told herself as she jogged down the hall. 'He said he was going to the hangar. He'll be in the hangar. Chewy will be there with him. Everything is going to be okay.'

But no matter what positive affirmations she told herself as she raced down the winding halls of the bunker, she couldn't shake the feeling that something either bad had already happened, or it was about to.

She ran past the cafeteria, not even bothering to check inside. She nearly knocked over a group of pilots as they made their way towards the Dome.

"REY!!!"

Despite her mission, she skid to a stop and whirled around.

Poe hurried around the pilots she nearly ran into and up to her.

"What's wrong? Why are you running?" He asked, her putting his hands on her shoulders. Rey breathed heavily as she tried to catch her breath.

"Louie.... He's..... He's... I.... I can't find him." She was able to muster. Poe went pale.

"Do you know where he might have gone?" Poe asked her in a calm tone.

"The kids said the hangar... But he could be anywhere...." Rey said. "Poe, what am I going to do? I can't lose him, I -"

"Hey." Poe said, placing his hands on her shoulders. "We're gonna find him. He couldn't have gone far."

"But the attack...." Rey began.

"Connix knows the plan just as well as I do. She'll be fine until I get back. Louie's more important."

Rey gulped back tears and nodded.

"Okay." She managed to croak.

"All right." Poe said, taking his hands from her shoulders. "Now I'll check the cafeteria and the bunkers. You go check the hangar."

She nodded and they parted, racing in opposite directions.

Rey skid into the hangar, eliciting confused and startled looks from the pilots that were prepping their starships for take off. She raced to the Falcon, grateful that the ramp was already lowered.

"Louie???" Rey yelled as she raced onboard. She looked around the hub. No response.

She began to check all the nooks and crannies on the Falcon. She lifted up the smuggling hatches, checked the cupboard underneath the couch. The galley. The sleeping quarters. She even ran down to the gunner. Nothing. No one.

She climbed back to the hub and ran to the cockpit. Chewy was seated in the pilots chair, flipping switches on the dash.

"Chewy! Have you seen Louie?" She hastily asked. The Wookiee shook his large head and Rey sighed, exasperated. He roared at her in response to her disappointment.

"He said he was coming to get you. I can't find him." Rey explained. Chewy motioned to the pilots through the windshield, rumbling to her in his native language to ask if they'd seen him.

"Okay." Rey said, nodding. She thundered down the ramp and approached the nearest pilot, Jessika Pava.

"Jess! Have you seen Louie?" She asked. Jess briefly removed her helmet.

"Yeah!" Jess said. Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

"He went onto the Falcon and then he ran out towards the house." She pointed behind Rey out the open hangar doors and to the grand Senate house across from the gardens.

Rey's sense of relief was instantly washed away as she looked out at the vast dwelling. She had warned the boys not to play in the house before. It was rarely used, its insides full of covered furniture and old supply crates. Why would he run in there?

Red lights began to flash inside the hangar and the warning alarm sounded.

"All right, look alive everyone!" Called Snap to the rest of the pilots.

~~~~~~

The alarms echoed in her head as she ran towards the house. The gardens on either side of the path were eerie to see empty, with no one working in them today. Tools lay abandoned against fences.

As Rey reached the house a rumble from the sky above made her pause and turn. She looked skyward to see the shape of a First Order Star Destroyer arrive in the atmosphere above the planet.

She was running out of time. She had to find Louie and quick! She pulled on the decorative front doors of the house and ran inside.

"Lou???" She called as she walked down the massive entryway of the Senate house. "Louie, are you in here???"

She slowed her pace to look for him. Perhaps he was hiding, scared. He had every right to be scared. This wasn't just a drill. This was real. And she wasn't there to comfort him.

She went inside a drawing room, a large portrait of Mon Mothma hung above the fireplace. Tables and couches were covered with dust covered blankets, preserving the furniture underneath.

"Lou?" She called, lifting the edge of one of the blankets and peering under the furniture.

She was startled by the muffled sound of an approaching TIE fighter from outside. She dropped the blanket.

"Lou???" She called, louder this time.

She exited the drawing room and hurried up the staircase towards the second floor.

"Lou, I'm not mad at you." She said, hoping he could hear her. She peered inside a side room full of supply crates.

"Lou, come out honey." She tried again, peering inside another room. Still nothing. She headed to the ballroom next.

"Lou???"

Her voice echoed in the spacious room. Dust particles flickered in the sunlight streaming in from the windows that lined the walls.

There was another scream from a TIE. Louder this time, followed by a series of shots from a Resistance ship. The glass rattled. The battle had started quick, and it was getting close.

Rey pulled her hands into fists, her heart threatening to burst. She had no choice. She was going to have to say it. She was. The name she kept only to herself and one other person.

She took in a breath before bellowing out into the room:

"LUCAS HAN!!! YOU GET OUT HERE AT ONCE!"

She could only hear the thudding of her heart in her ears, her heaving breaths, and the muffled sounds of the battle outside.

He wasn't in here.

She was going to have to go back outside and pray the TIEs didn't see her run to the bunkers. That would expose where the others were hiding.

There was a creak of a door and Rey whirled around.

"Lou???" She said eagerly, spinning around.

But it wasn't Lou. It was the Supreme Leader.

She lightly gasped and took a step back.

He was here. Actually here. She had been so caught up in her search she had failed to sense that he had arrived, that he approached.

"Ben...." She whispered, taking another step back as Ben entered the room, unlit saber in hand.

"What are you doing in here Rey?" He asked her, looking around at the stacks of chairs pushed up against the walls, draped in more of the same blankets as before.

"I.... I...." She stammered.

"You weren't trying to hide from me, were you?" He asked her, narrowing his eyes at her. "Because that would have been foolish."

Rey found herself shaking her head at him. He smirked.

"Good. I would have found you anyways. You can't hide anything from me."

'That's what you think.' She found herself thinking.

She stood frozen, cautiously watching him circle the room, twirling the hilt of his saber in his gloved hand.

"So what ARE you doing in here?" He asked her once again. "Do you have a weapon in here? Have you perhaps set a trap for me? Am I about to ambushed by your school of scrawny padawans?"

She glared at him.

"I was looking for something." She said. "And my padawans aren't scrawny." She spat. She reached for her lightsaber, swiftly unclipping it from her belt. He turned to her at the sound.

"You don't want to fight me." He murmured to her.

"No.... But I will if I have to." She said to him, her fingers flexing around the handle.

He smirked at her again.

"Things could have been so different Rey." Ben said, continuing his motions around the room. "If you had joined me when I asked. If you had just given everything you had to me."

"I gave you all of myself five years ago." Rey shot at him.

"Oh, so NOW you want to talk about that?" He commented snarkily. Rey glared some more at him.

"I know Rey." Ben said to her and she began to feel dizzy.

"I know you've moved on." He said.

There was a flicker of relief at his words. So he didn't know.

"I don't know what you mean." Rey said, feeling slight confusion.

"You were wrong Rey. Last night, when you said it had been four years?"

She blankly stared at him.

"I saw you. Just over two years ago. Asleep. With another man in your bed."

Rey blushed, feeling ashamed he had stumbled upon her and Poe.

"It's not like that Ben." She explained, taking a hesitant step forward.

"Really Rey? I know what I saw." He snapped angrily, whipping the hand that held his saber towards her. For the moment it remained un lit.

"Ben, listen to me. I -"

"REY???"

Her name cut through the room like a well sharpened knife. Both their heads snapped to the doorway.

"Rey?" Said the voice again.

Poe pushed the door further open and entered the room, dragging Lou by the hand behind him.

"Oh thank Gods!" Rey shouted, running forward and kneeling down to embrace him.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to her as his little hands wrapped around her neck.

"Don't you EVER do that again!" She said to him as she drew back. She kissed his forehead.

"Rey......" Poe said warily, having realized who was in the room with them. Rey glanced behind her. Ben was glaring daggers at Poe.

Poe looked at Rey, panicked. She stood.

"Poe. Take Lou to his room." Rey told Poe softly.

"I can't. The safety doors have been lowered." Poe whispered back, slightly shaking his head.

"Then take him to the Dome. I'll handle things from here."

She crouched down again. Lou was partially hiding behind Poe's leg.

"Lou. Honey. You need to go, okay?"

Lou shook his head.

"Lou." Rey said again, sternly. "Listen to me." She whispered.

She saw Lou's brown eyes flick to the towering figure that stood in the background. Rey took him by his chin gently, turning his face so he looked at her instead.

"Do as I say." She said to him.

"Yes ma'am." He replied.

Rey stood and turned, walking back to the middle of the room.

"YOU!" Ben shouted angrily at Poe. The saber finally ignited, bathing Ben in a scarlet light of rage. "IT WAS YOU!!!"

Poe looked again at Rey, panicked.

"You choose the General over ME?" Ben spat scathingly. Poe stepped forward while pushing Lou further behind him in protection.

Ben breathed heavily as his anger boiled. He turned to Rey.

"I.... I told you.... I told you...." Ben stammered, finding it hard to admit the words with an audience.

"I told you I loved you!" Ben yelled at Rey. Rey looked down.

"Ben -" She started.

"No! NO!" He shouted back. "After everything I did for you! After everything I told you!"

"Ben, please -"

"NO!!!!"

Ben thrust a hand out towards her. Rey felt herself blasted backwards and she slid along the dusty floor.

"Mamma!!!" Lou cried out.

Rey hurried to her feet, turning on her blue saber. Ben however was not focused anymore on her. He was looking instead to the doorway at Lou.

~~~~~~

Ben scrutinized the little boy. He had just referred to Rey as his mother. He had one arm clinging around the leg of the General, a hand reaching towards Rey as she scurried to stand up.

The more Ben stared, the more he saw Rey reflected in the boy. The shape of the face, his little nose, hair that was dark - but not quite black. He saw the General try to pull the boy off his leg so that they could flee.

His heart shattered as he saw the look mother and child shared across the room. Not only had Rey moved on from him, she had started a family with another man. He was crushed. He began to fume. He could not contain his fury any longer.

He reached again for Rey, this time she was pulled towards him by use of the Force.

"Rey!" Poe shouted. He drew his blaster on Ben.

"Don't even think about it!" Ben snarled at Poe, freezing him just as he did when they first met on Jakku.

Ben pulled Rey in closer to him and she struggled to free herself from his hold. Once she was close enough, he grabbed her by the neck and began to squeeze. Not with the Force, physically.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Ben shouted at her. Her eyes bulged and she clawed mercifully at his hands.

"Ben... H...." She tried to speak.

"I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU!" He repeated. "AND YOU GO OFF AND HAVE A KID WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!"

Rey tried to shake her head in his grasp. She gasped for air.

"Ben.... H.... He.... He..."

Her face began to redden. She struggled for one more breath.

"He's.... He's your son...."


	8. Need You Now

*inspired by 'Need You Now' by Lady Antebellum*

~ Six Months after the events of The Last Jedi ~

Rey entered her room in the Resistance bunker. She had been living here for a month. She had just gotten used to living aboard the Falcon when her world was turned upside down once again. Everyone was still slowly moving into the dorms. She supposed it had something to do with their last base being destroyed by the First Order. The Resistance was cautious, and for good reason. They didn't want a repeat of last time.

General Organa had assured everyone that this time would be different. Winding hallways and various rooms lay several hundred feet below the stately house the Senate had once occupied before transitioning to what was ultimately their final destination - the Hosnian system. The base had originally been designed as a safe house should the Senate leaders be attacked while holding court. Rey had to admit the thick steel and concrete walls of the bunker seemed safe, but whether they would continue to be safe here remained to be seen.

Outside, a grassy hill disguised the hangar entrance. Beyond the hangar, a series of plots were marked with metal stakes, indicating where gardens would be planted to supply the Resistance with a variety of foods. Of course, several carefully calculated trips to nearby trade planets would still be in order to stock up on seeds, tools, food, clothing, and ammunition. Everything one would need to supply a small army.

Rey sat down at the desk that furnished her room. It was a modest room. An oil lamp sat on the desk. There was a bedside table with a drawer that harbored the still shattered pieces of her lightsaber. A bed. A wardrobe. The basics, really.

She pulled a leather bound notebook of parchment across the desk top towards her. She reached into a tin mug that sat next to the lamp and pulled out a piece of charcoal. She paused as she mulled over what she wanted to log in her journal for that day.

Tonight, she had plenty to write about. Out of the blue, an older woman had appeared at the house today. The Resistance, being on high alert, had taken the woman to meet with the General. It wasn't until Rey was called to meet with General as well that Rey found out why the woman was here.

~~~~~~

"You wanted to see me?" Rey asked General Organa as she poked her head inside her office.

"Please Rey, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Leia?" Leia said with a smile, welcoming her into the office. Rey went red.

"Sit down Rey." Leia said to her, indicating a faded purple armchair. Leia sat in an identical chair across from her.

"Rey. The woman who arrived today came to see you." Leia said, getting straight to the point.

Rey frowned, her eyes filled with concern.

"Me? But.... Why?.... How?"

Leia shook her head.

"I don't know how, but I do know why." Leia reached over and took her by the hand.

"She has come seeking your guidance with the Force."

Rey looked confused.

"Guidance?"

"Yes Rey. This woman, she too has the Force."

Rey looked doubtfully at the General.

"Are you sure?" Rey asked Leia. Leia lightly laughed.

"Luke always doubted my abilities too." She said. She sighed and wistfully looked off into space, recalling her brother. She missed him dearly.

"But yes. I can feel it within her." Leia said, turning back to Rey. It was Rey's turn to shake her head.

"Leia I.... I can't offer anyone guidance..." Rey said.

"Why not? You're smart. You're powerful."

"But I'm not a Jedi."

"You don't have to be a Jedi to teach someone."

The word teach echoed in her mind twice. Once in the voice of Kylo Ren. The second in the voice of Luke Skywalker.

Rey sighed.

"I... I wouldn't even know what to teach."

"Was my brother that bad of a teacher?" Leia asked her.

"Well... I mean..." Rey said, trailing off. Leia smiled at her.

"I know you can do this Rey." Leia said, squeezing Rey's hand that she still held. Rey looked down at their hands and lightly squeezed back.

"I.... I think I'm afraid." Rey admitted. Leia patted Rey's hand and let go.

"I know you are." Leia said, sitting back in her chair. "I wouldn't be asking this of you if I didn't think you could handle it."

Rey looked down at her hands and fiddled with the linens wrapped around her.

"I can find one of the meeting rooms that would be suitable for a classroom." Leia said, standing and beginning to take a turn about the room. "That should do you just fine for now."

Rey stood as well and looked at Leia confused.

"Why would I need a classroom for just one student?"

Leia smiled knowingly at her.

"I have a feeling this woman isn't going to be the only arrival we have seeking your guidance."

~~~~~~

Rey laid down the piece of charcoal down after documenting her discussion with Leia, her fears of becoming a teacher, her fears of failure. So many fears. Since when did she become so scared of a challenge? She sighed as she closed the cover of the journal, pushing it aside and placing the charcoal back in the mug. She wiped her hands on her linens before leaning back in her chair and pressing a hand against her forehead.

She was beginning to feel a bit dizzy. Her head felt heavy and her ears felt stuffy. She pressed her hands against her ears and removed them, hoping the pressure would go away. It didn't. An aura of heaviness fell upon the room. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach flip flopped. She recognized this feeling. She had almost forgotten it, it had been so long since she last felt it.

She scrambled out of her chair and turned around, her breathing quickening as she saw the hunched over figure of Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Though she knew him by a different name - Ben Solo.

He was softly muttering something. Was it to himself, or to someone? She couldn't see his surroundings. She wasn't sure if he had noticed they had connected, he was too engrossed in his mutterings. Suddenly he straightened and she felt a bit panicked. His tall figure had always been intimidating.

"I know you're there." He said deeply without turning around. She let out the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding in. She cleared her throat.

"I didn't mean to interrupt." She said. He turned to her.

Maybe it was just the light, but his eyes seemed sad. For a moment, they merely stared at each other.

"Why is this still happening?" He asked her, despite he knew she wouldn't have an answer. She merely shrugged.

"I thought you didn't want to see me again." He said to her. She shook her head.

"I never said that." She replied.

"You didn't have to." He explained. She looked down at her hands.

"Does this mean you're coming for the Resistance?" She asked, wondering aloud. He shook his head briefly.

"We have work to do first." He answered. She looked down again.

"Are you safe?"

Her head shot up at his question. He fidgeted slightly, shifting his large boots.

"What?" She whispered.

"Are you safe. Where you are. Is it safe?"

Why would that matter to him? She found her self nodding. She could see his shoulders lower as he exhaled a deep breath. After a moment he took a step towards her. It was surreal seeing his form in her small room.

"I keep thinking about the throne room." He admitted as he approached. Rey swallowed deeply.

"I do too."

Her answer intrigued him.

"You do?"

She nodded.

"I should have tried harder." She said, hanging her head. "I could have saved you." She whispered.

Ben shook his head.

"You can't save me." He replied.

"I know that now." Rey sighed, feeling defeated.

He stood about a foot in front of her now. He cocked his head as he looked down at her.

"You're feeling troubled." He said. She glanced up at him and blinked. She didn't bother to deny it, because it was true.

"You're still so lonely...." He said, inching closer to her. She furrowed her brow as she concentrated on blocking her thoughts from his mind. It didn't occur to her he was able to identify exactly how she was feeling without digging into her head.

"After I told you what your parents did.... You still miss them...." He said to her, sounding a mix of awe and confusion.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand." She shot at him.

"I understand." He said. "I miss my Father."

"Whom you killed." She snapped. He frowned.

"You've made it plenty clear that all I will ever be to you is a monster." He said, looking down at her.

"I never said that to you either." She said angrily.

"If I could go back... I would never have asked for you to join me." He whispered to her, their bodies inches apart.

Rey's breathing quickened.

"Why?" She asked, curious.

"Because that's when I lost you." He said. He raised a hand towards her. It was then she noticed he wasn't wearing his gloves like usual.

His hand reached hesitantly to her chin. He crooked his index finger and pressed it delicately underneath her chin, tipping her face up ever so slightly.

"I can't bear to lose you again." He whispered to her before lowering his face to hers and pressing his soft full lips against hers.

She stood frozen in shock. Her arms were stock still at her sides. Her eyes wide. Her heart pounded out of her chest. She blinked incredulously at him. He just kissed her!!!

Ben drew away from her, keeping his hand gently on her chin. His eyes softened at her when he realized she wasn't going to retaliate against him for his actions. Her eyes searched his, unsure of his intentions. She had heard what he said to her but she was unable to comprehend his words she was in such shock.

A smile played at the corner of his lips as she continued to stare at him in wonderment.

"I think I'm in love with you Rey..." He said to her softly.

She rapidly blinked. Was she hearing things? Her mouth fell open and she searched for words.

"I.... I think I am too..." She admitted.

He smirked at her.

"Say it." He hissed.

"I... I love you." Rey stammered.

His lips connected with hers again and this time she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. Her hands reached for his thick mass of hair, tangling her fingers amongst his long locks.

Ben's hands gripped and tugged at her waist, pulling her in closer to him. How all of this was occurring, she did not know. She did not care. Not now.

His hands traveled up to her face, cupping it as he deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth with his tongue.

Rey pulled on his jacket belt, knocking them backwards against her desk. His kisses trailed away from her face and down her neck as he tugged at the linens wrapped around her shoulders. Rey unbelted her linens and the fabric was quickly whipped to the floor.

Ben kissed her on the lips again, over and over, as he shrugged off his armored jacket. Rey shrugged out of her vest, her chest heaving up and down from the adrenaline. She clutched a hand at the front of his black undershirt.

"Take your shirt off." Ben hissed to her suddenly. Rey lifted the cream tank over her head and threw it to the ground on top of her linens.

Ben kissed along her collarbone, his hands traveling to the thin strip of fabric she had covering her chest. He ripped it away with ease and his hands immediately enveloped her breasts. He nipped and sucked at her neck as he sensually massaged her breasts.

Rey found herself moaning at his motions. She lifted herself up onto her desk and wrapped her legs around his strong waist. His hands quickly moved to her bottom and he gripped his fingers into her hard as he lifted her off the desk and nearly threw her onto her bed.

He was on top of her now, his dark hair tickling her cheeks. She ran her hands across his shoulders and down his back, occasionally squeezing or digging in her nails. She could feel his arousal against her thigh. It would flex and throb with every motion he made. He raised briefly to take off his own shirt before lowering himself to her again. Rey drew away from his face to kiss along the trail of the scar she gave him, running her hands against his hard chest.

"Gods Rey..." He whispered in her ear as he hovered over her. "I need you.... I will always need you."

Rey stared up into Ben's brown eyes, seeing a look she had only seen once before. The look he gave her in the elevator before they killed Snoke, right after she called him by his name. The look that said he would do absolutely anything for her. She nodded to him quickly and he pressed his lips to hers again.

Rey wiggled her pants down the best that she could and Ben assisted with the final removal, tossing them aside with the rest of their garments. Ben unbuttoned his pants and shifted his undergarments to the side, revealing his hardened member. He positioned himself above her entrance and guided himself inside her.

She gasped at the sensation and he did the same. He thrust in and out of her and she began to moan uncontrollably. She clung to him, panting into his shoulder. He gripped a hand at her hair.

"I love you." He said to her as he continued to glide in and out of her wet folds.

"I love you." She said in return, clinging to him, her moaning increasing in volume.

She was overcome with pleasure and could feel herself shudder around his arousal. Ben grunted and buried his member deep within her. She felt his throbbing release. He wrapped his arms around her and they laid there like that for who knows how long. The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was the weight and warmth of Ben's body around her as he softly stroked her hair and peppered her shoulder with kisses.

In the morning she woke up stark naked and alone with only her clothes laying haphazardly on the floor.

~~~~~~

~ Present Day ~

Mamma!!!" Lou cried out.

Rey struck her fight stance with her saber ignited, readying to take on Ben - but he had become distracted. Lou's cry towards her had caught his attention.

Ben's eyes bored in the little boys direction. Lou was reaching for her while he continued to hide behind Poe. Poe began to tug at Lou's arm that wrapped around his leg. Lou's eyes pleaded for Rey to help him. He didn't want to go with Poe. He wanted to stay here, with his mother.

The look on Ben's face changed rapidly. From curiosity, to disbelief, to heartache, to pure rage.

His arm shot out and she was drawn closer to him by the Force. She put out her own Force but she was unable to free herself.

"Rey!" Poe shouted. His hand flashed to his side and he quickly drew his blaster - aiming it at Ben.

"Don't even think about it!" Ben growled at Poe, freezing him in place. His eyes were wide with panic.

Rey was pulled closer to Ben as she continued to struggle and break his hold. She was inches from him now and his hand reached out, grabbing her by the neck. To Rey's shock, he began to squeeze. Not with the Force, but with his true hand.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Ben yelled at her. She could feel her eyes strain and she clawed and dug at his hand, trying to get her fingers underneath his grip to peel his hand away.

She began to panic, fearing the worst. She was about to die at the hands of the father of her son. She didn't know how, but she heard her words in Poe's voice echo in her head.

'You never know. It might help make things better.'

Her jaw tightened as she began to speak.

"Ben... H...."

"I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU!" He shouted. "AND YOU GO OFF AND HAVE A KID WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!"

She attempted to shake her head while she gasped for air like a fish out of water.

"Ben.... H.... He.... He..."

The pressure on her neck was mounting. She struggled for another deep breath and the courage to tell him her deepest secret.

"He's.... He's your son...."

Ben's hand flexed against her throat. She was able to take in a deep breath as the hold loosened. She continued to paw at his hand.

"YOU LIE!!!" Ben cried, his hand tightening again. Rey could feel the life being squeezed from her. She floundered for more air.

"It's..... True...." She gasped. Ben's eyes wildly searched her face. Her lips were beginning to turn blue.

"No!" Ben shouted.

"Search.... Your h.... hea... heart." She struggled one more time. "Take..." She gasped loudly. "Take my memories...." She managed before her eyes rolled back in her head.


	9. All The Things She Said

*briefly inspired by 'All the Things She Said' by t.A.T.u (minus the lesbian undertones)*

Ben let go of Rey and her body collapsed to the floor in a heap. He stood above her, breathing heavy. He still held his hand out towards her and began to pull at her mind.

~~~~~~

~ Seven Months and Eleven Days after the events of The Last Jedi ~

Rey was underneath the Falcon, a streak of oil across her forehead from wiping sweat off her brow with a soiled hand.

The Falcon was long overdue for repairs. R2-D2 had scanned the Falcon's computer system for her, flagging all the sensors that were out of sync. She had already repaired one of the satellites, but the wiring was shot in several other places. Wires lay at her feet as she dug inside the belly of the freighter.

R2-D2 beeped at her quizzically as she scrunched up in face in concentration. She yanked out another handful of frayed wires and beamed at the droid. He whistled.

"Thanks Artoo." Rey said, sighing and wiping at her head again. She took a seat on top of a supply crate, momentarily feeling dizzy. R2-D2 beeped at her again.

"I'm about done." She said to him. "Just have to uncoil the new wires and install them. Then we'll see what else is wrong with this old ship." Rey said, laying a hand lovingly against the metal underside of the ship. R2-D2 cooed.

"Hey Rey, how goes the repairs?" came a familiar voice. Finn's happy face peeked underneath the Falcon at her, followed shortly by Rose.

"Hey guys. It's going all right." Rey said, sighing. She indicated the series of wires that lay on the ground.

"Looks... Fun?" Finn said, unenthused. Rey tried to force a smile but she was beginning to feel woozy. Maybe it was from the fumes of fuel inside the hangar...

"Well, we're heading to check on the progress of the gardens. Want to come?" Rose asked her.

Rey shook her head and opened her mouth to politely decline but she quickly shut her mouth only to turn around and spew her breakfast over the other side of the supply crate. R2-D2 squealed in response.

"Rey?! Are you okay?" Rose asked, rushing over to her. Finn made a face.

Rey straightened and wiped at her mouth. That was a bad idea. Now her mouth tasted like acid and oil. She retched again. Rose rubbed at her back.

"You eat the oatmeal this morning?" Finn asked of her. Rey shook her head no.

"Oh. That stuff always messes me up." He said, placing a hand on his stomach. Rose shot Finn a look.

"It's probably just the fumes..." Rey muttered, feeling horribly embarrassed.

"I'm sure it will pass." Rose said comfortingly to her. Rey gave her friend a small smile.

"Thanks Rose."

"And wash your hands." Finn added. "If it's not the food, I don't want to catch whatever bug you've got."

"Of course it's the food." Rose said to him. "What else could it be? Is she pregnant? Hahahaha."

Rey felt as if she was going to be sick again but the feeling was fleeting.

"Yeah. Right. Hahahaha." Rey weakly laughed.

"Feel better Rey." Rose said to Rey.

"See you." Finn said, giving her a wave.

Rey turned around and grabbed for a towel and hastily began to clean up her vomit. R2-D2 made some pretty suggestive beeps at her. She scoffed.

"What do you know?" She asked of the droid. He beeped again. She scoffed one more time, tossing the towel in a garbage bag until she had time to dispose of it.

"Highly unlikely. You have to have...." She stopped mid sentence. R2-D2 gave her curious beep and she shook her head in response.

"Nevermind. I'm going to wash my hands." She said to the droid, grabbing the garbage bag and storming off towards the bunkers.

Her mind was swimming as she wandered almost in a trance like state down the halls of the bunkers. She didn't notice someone had called her name until she felt a tug at her arm. It jolted her from her thoughts.

"Rey, I was calling your name." Poe said to her, giving her a dashing grin.

"Sorry Poe, I -"

"Phew! What's that smell?" Poe suddenly asked. Rey went red as Poe looked down at the garbage bag in her hand.

"Oh. Um. I was doing repairs on the Falcon..."

"Say no more." Poe said, holding up a hand. "Old oil reeks. I hate starship maintenance sometimes." He cleared his throat.

"I'm headed to meet up with Finn and Rose to check out the gardens. You wanna join us?" He asked her. She shook her head.

"I would but um.... I've got to check up on something first." She said, biting her lip. Poe gave her a brief look of concern.

"Oh... Well... Okay then." He said with a shrug. He turned and left.

Rey kept still in the hallway, waiting for Poe to be out of sight and she took a turn down the hall opposite the one that led to the bunkers. She chucked the garbage bag in the first receptacle she saw and continued up the hall until she reached the room she was looking for.

She looked both up and down the hall, making sure no one saw her enter the medical ward.

She flicked on a light and began to search through the drawers and the cabinets until she came across what she was looking for.

Her breath caught in her throat. Was she really doing this? Did she even need this? Was she sure she wasn't just imagining things? She slowly started counting backwards in her head. She frowned at the results. She counted again, this time, tapping along her fingers keeping track of the numbers.

Kriff. She was several days late for her monthly. Scratch that. It had been over a week.

Her hands shook as she took one of the boxes from the cabinet and she hid it in the folds of her linens. She then scurried back to the dorms. At this time of the morning, no one was in the refresher shared by the women in this wing of the bunker. She locked herself in the stall furthest away from the door. She fumbled with the packaging as she opened the tiny box. Out slide a metallic stick with a thin sponge on the end. She could feel herself almost becoming sick again at the thought of what she was about to do.

Rey raced back to her room and set the stick on her desk. She paced back and forth while she awaited the results.

Her stomach continued to flip flop as she walked back and forth between the door and her bed. She stared at the bed and then quickly looked away as she imagined what she had done on that bed. What they had done on that bed. She walked towards the desk and she reached for the stick but snatched back her hand and paced a few more steps.

Did she even want to know? Surely she was worrying over nothing. She jumped at the sound of an electronic chime. Time was up. The results were ready.

She approached her desk cautiously. A hand trembling, she picked the stick up and stared in the little digital window in the middle of the object. A blue face smiled and winked at her. The motion continued to repeat itself over and over. Rey sat down on her bed hard and in disbelief.

She was pregnant. And not just any pregnant - pregnant with Ben's baby. Ben, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

~~~~~~

~ Eight Months, Two Weeks, and Four Days after the events of The Last Jedi ~

Rey was helping out in the gardens with Poe, Finn, and Rose. The men were digging trenches and Rose was along behind them, planting seeds. Rey then would cover up the seeds with the overturned soil. She yawned and leaned both hands on the top of the shovel.

"Dang Rey, that's the twelfth time you've yawned since you've been out here." Poe said to her, having spotted her yawn out the corner of his eye. Rey looked embarrassed.

"I'm sorry. I've been really tired lately." She explained. The other three shared a look amongst themselves, but Rey didn't notice.

"Rey..." Finn said slowly to her. "Maybe you should go inside and rest."

Rey frowned.

"I don't need to rest." She snapped. She struggled to contain another yawn but it forced its way out.

"Rey. Go lie down." Poe said to her.

"I can plant and cover the seeds." Rose said, standing up from her crouched position. "You probably shouldn't be doing this kind of work anyways - oop!"

Rose clamped a hand over her mouth. Poe and Finn shot Rose looks of disbelief. Rey narrowed her eyes at her friends.

"What do you mean I shouldn't be doing this kind of work?" Rey asked, offended.

"I just meant your condition - oooooh." Rose said, gritting her teeth as soon as the words had exited her mouth.

"Rose!" Poe hissed to Rose.

Rey went pale and looked at her friends. Finn looked down and shuffled his feet. Rose fiddled with her hair. Poe tried to look everywhere but Rey.

"Poe...." Rey said slowly. Poe's eyes finally connected with hers.

"All right, well... I said we shouldn't ask you about it... Because its RUDE!" He said, shooting a look at Rose.

"I'm sorry!" Rose whined. She turned to Rey and pointed at her. "But I'm sorry Rey. You've gained weight and I think there's something you're not telling us."

"You're pregnant." Poe finished.

Finn remained silent. Rey looked at Poe and Finn before bursting into sobs and falling to her knees, the shovel falling away. Rose ran to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Oh Rey... Honey... It's okay." Rose said, smoothing her hair.

"So it's true?" Finn asked quietly. Rey nodded into Rose's shoulder. Poe rubbed the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed.

"So uh.... Hmmm.. Uh.... Who is uh.... The father...."

Rey sniffled. She scrambled to think of an excuse.

"A.... A trader..... I met him on a supply run......" She quickly lied. Poe frowned.

"Was he cute?" Finn asked.

"Of course he had to have been cute!" Rose snapped at Finn, still cradling Rey. "She wouldn't have done THAT with someone who wasn't attractive!"

Rose quickly turned to Rey.

"He was cute, right?" Rose whispered. Rey nodded after a minute. The boys made faces.

"This better have been consensual or I swear to the Gods I will track down this guy and tear him limb from limb." Finn said, sounding extra protective.

"It was." Rey told him. Finn seemed to calm down. Rey broke down in tears again.

"But it was only one time!" She cried, sobbing into Rose's shoulder.

"Sometimes that's all it takes." Poe said, shrugging. "I was conceived that way."

"Dude." Finn said, turning to Poe. "Number one - gross. Number two - not helping."

Rey continued to cry.

"Everything will be fine Rey." Rose said as she continued to console her friend. "We're here for you. We can help you."

"Of course." Poe said, stepping towards the girls. "The Resistance has food. Shelter. Access to tons of supplies. Clothes. You'll have everything you need. This is a great planet to raise a baby."

"Yeah, except for the threat of the First Order." Finn muttered under his breath. Poe glared at him. Rey burst into tears again.

"Way to go." Poe said to Finn. Finn frowned.

"It's true." He hissed.

"She doesn't need to hear that!" Poe hissed back. Rey stood and brushed dirt off her knees. Rose kept an arm around her shoulders. Rey sniffled.

"Thanks you guys." She said. Poe walked over and gave her a big hug and a quick peck on the cheek.

"Anything." He said to her, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

"Come on Rey. I'll walk you to your room." Rose said, looping her arm with Reys. "You can tell me about this mysterious trader."

"Maybe another time..." Rey said to Rose as they made their way towards the open hangar doors.

"At least tell me if he was tall."

Rey smiled at Rose's odd question.

"Yes.... Yes, he was tall."


	10. Honored And Proud

~ One Year after the events of The Last Jedi ~

Rey knocked on the door. There was a shuffle inside and Poe came to the door. His sad face lightly warmed as he saw who it was. He held the door open to her without a word.

"Finally. Someone different to talk to." Leia said teasingly. Rey put on a happy face for Leia. It was hard to see her lying in her bed, surrounding by various machines that beeped. Ever since her heart attack, she hadn't been the same. Poe had taken to staying at her bedside almost every waking hour. However, Rey was here to relieve him so he could have a well needed break.

"Rey. I'm so happy to see you." Leia said, reaching out for Rey as she rounded the bed. She took the seat that Poe had occupied prior to her arrival. Poe still stood at Leia's bedside. Rey reached a hand out towards Leia's outstretched hand.

"You can leave Poe. I'm in capable hands." Leia said. Poe gave Leia a sad smile and glanced up at Rey.

"We'll be fine." Rey said, nodding to Poe. Poe took Leia's other hand and gently squeezed it and Leia gave him a weak smile back. Poe then left the room.

"I thought he would never leave." Leia said to Rey. Rey lightly laughed. Leia sighed deeply.

"So how are you my dear?" She asked, patting Rey's hand. Rey sighed.

"It's been.... Quite a year...." Rey said. Leia smiled at her.

"Yes it has. We should be very proud. We have accomplished so much in such little time." Leia mused.

"This base has been great." Rey said, looking around the room.

"And your students?" Leia asked.

"Very eager to learn." Rey said, laughing. "Especially the little ones."

Leia smiled and patted Rey's hand again.

"Soon you'll know your own joys of looking after a child." Leia said, her eyes glinting.

Rey took her free hand and set it on her baby bump. The child inside flexed at her touch. She was momentarily sad but forced a smile.

"It certainly will be an interesting journey, parenthood." Rey sighed, rubbing her bump.

"Alone, I suspect... What about the father? Poe tells me he is not in the picture...."

Rey looked down sadly.

"Oh, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm not as current on the base gossip as I used to be."

"It's okay." Rey said, squeezing Leia's hand. "It's.... Complicated..."

Leia looked over at the chronometer on her bedside table.

"Poe won't be back for a few hours. I've got time." Leia lightly wriggled against the numerous pillows keeping her upright as she got comfortable. "Tell this old lady a juicy story."

Rey blushed.

"I don't think you want to hear this one." Rey said to Leia, shaking her head. Leia frowned momentarily.

"Why not?" She asked Rey. "You can tell me dear. Who am I going to tell?"

Rey sighed and her shoulders shook. Tears welled up at her eyes. If there was a right time to tell Leia the truth, it was now. A tear dribbled down Rey's cheek as she looked into a familiar pair of sad brown eyes.

"Because.... Because.... Ben...." Rey gulped. "Ben is the father."

Leia pursed her lips and raised a hand to delicately touch Rey's face.

"Oh honey. I knew." She said to Rey. Rey let out a half sob, half laugh.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Rey asked Leia. A tear fell from Leia's eyes.

"I know this has been hard for you... I didn't want to upset you." Leia admitted. Rey sniffed at dabbed at her eyes.

"I don't know how this happened..." Leia began. "Well... I know how..." Leia said, giving Rey a pointed look. Rey laughed through her tears once more. She corrected herself. "I don't know why... But I couldn't be any happier that you've given me a grandchild."

Rey wiped away more tears.

"May I?" Leia asked, her eyes wandering to Rey's bump. Rey stood so that Leia could reach her bump. She laid a gentle hand on Rey's belly and Rey gasped at how her unborn child reacted to the touch.

Leia smiled as she held her hand still for several moments. She drew her hand away and Rey sat back down, cradling her arms around her belly. The life inside continued to tumble and kick.

"I hope you get a chance to meet your grandchild." Rey said softly to Leia. Leia smiled at her.

"In a way, I already have." She answered. Rey smiled back.

"Do you know the gender?" Leia asked her. Rey shook her head.

"Would you like to?" Leia asked, her smile becoming wider. Rey quickly nodded.

"It's a boy." Leia whispered. Rey felt more tears form at her eyes and she wiped them away.

"He's strong, like his father. And beautiful, like his mother." Leia said to Rey, offering another of her iconic knowing smiles.

"Thank you." Rey said to Leia, reaching for Leia's hand. Leia grasped her hand back.

"No Rey.... Thank you..."

~~~~~~

~ One Year, Three Months and One Week after the events of The Last Jedi ~

Rey had been in labor for several hours now. She tried her best to tell her friends she wished to go about her birthing experience alone but they wouldn't let her. The only person Rey felt comfortable enough at her side was Rose.

Poe had halted all Resistance related affairs the minute he knew she had been admitted to the medical ward. He paced outside the doors to the med bay, which did nothing but fuel rumors that he was the child's mysterious father.

Finn just sat in the hallway and fidgeted as Poe continued his pacing.

Rey's screams could be heard throughout the halls of the base. Poe's pacing picked up speed and he would occasionally try to peek through the door - only for one of the medical droids to slam the door in his face.

~ Somewhere Across the Galaxy ~

"Supreme Leader?" There was a knock on the door. "Supreme Leader, General Hux is asking why you haven't reported to the command bridge?" Called a First Order officer.

Ben lay in his bed in agony. He had been awakened from his slumber, drenched in sweat, his sides feeling like they were splitting open.

"Is everything all right in there sir?"

"GO AWAY!!!!!!" Ben roared, reaching for the nearest object - his chronometer - and chucking it at the door.

"As you command, sir."

Ben groaned and rolled over, clutching at his sides. He was sure he was dying, there was no other explanation for this sudden onslaught of pain. He panted, his breathing heavy. The pain came and went in waves and he couldn't understand for the life of him where it was coming from. Had he been poisoned? He knew Hux wanted his position as Supreme Leader. Could he have gone so far as to lace his midnight tonic?

He grit his teeth as the wave of pain hit again. He clawed a hand at his bed sheets and pulled himself towards the edge of his bed. One hand gripped his end table and he braced himself with the other against his bed. He managed to stand up, very unstable. He clutched at his stomach as he shuffled like an injured animal to the refresher.

After another wave of side splitting pain, he retched in his sink. It wasn't until after he had rinsed out his mouth did he notice the pain had subsided.

~ Back at the Resistance Base ~

Poe felt himself shaken awake. He looked startled at Rose's smiling face.

"I fell asleep!" He shouted, shooting up out of the chair. Rose giggled.

"You were up all night, that's probably why." Rose said to him. Poe rubbed at his face.

"Can I see her?" Poe eagerly asked Rose. Rose smiled.

"No."

"No?" Poe asked, frowning.

"You can see both of them." She said.

Poe entered the med bay, seeing Finn smiling happily at Rey's bedside. Rey smiled at Finn before looking back down at a bundle of gray blankets in her arms.

Poe could feel his heart swell like he never felt before. This was the moment he knew he had fallen in love with Rey. This strong, beautiful woman had endured so much in her life, only to give birth in a previously abandoned war bunker. And while child was not his, but he would treat this child as his own, if Rey would allow it.

He paused in his approach and Rose gave him a little nudge, giving him the okay to come closer. Rey looked up and smiled at Poe.

"You're late." She said to Poe, teasing.

"I feel asleep." He replied sheepishly.

"He did too." Rey said, looking back down in the blankets. Poe came around to her bedside, feeling awkward.

"You may hold him if you'd like." Rey said to Poe, sensing his thoughts. Poe took the baby from Rey and stared down at his little round face. Dark hair peeked out from around the cap that had been placed on his head.

"Did you come up with a name?" Poe asked her.

Rey nodded.

"Lucas Han." She said simply.

Rose began to cry.

"Leia.... *sniff* would have been so honored! *sob*" Rose cried.

Poe smiled, having already figured out at this point that Leia's son - Ben Solo - was the father of Rey's child.

Poe recalled the words Leia told him right before she died. Even though she was on her deathbed, Leia had comforted Poe.

'I have accepted my fate.' She had said to Poe. 'I leave the Resistance in your capable hands. I have lived a full life. I will see my mother.... My father... My husband.... And my brother.... But my blood still lives on.'

Leia had then given Poe a knowing smile before uttering her last words.

'And I couldn't be happier.'

Poe looked down at baby in his arms.

"She would be very proud." Poe said before handing baby Lucas back to Rey.

~~~~~~

~ Present Day ~

After seeing the events of Rey's realization she was expecting up through the birth of his son - Ben expected the memories to stop there. But they continued. He saw the boys first word - Mamma, of course. His first steps, toddling around the Falcon, climbing on Chewy and pulling at his fur. His first birthday, complete with cake. The boy began to grow up before his eyes - running, laughing, playing, learning.

Rey knelt in front of her son, tugging at the belt around his padawan uniform.

"Today is your first day of your Force training Lou." Rey said to him, using the nickname he had become accustomed to growing up. "Are you excited?"

"Yes Mamma." Lou said, nodding eagerly.

"Now, you can't go calling me Mamma during lessons." Rey said. "You need to call me Miss Rey or ma'am, just like the other students. Understand?"

Lou frowned.

"Does that mean you aren't my mother anymore?"

Rey laughed.

"No honey. You just don't need to call me Mamma during class."

Lou nodded.

"Yes ma'am." He replied. Rey smiled at him, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

It may have seemed a strange request of a mother to ask her child to refer to her as 'Mamma' less - but Rey had her reasons. Her son was becoming older and stronger with the Force and she would do anything to protect her child. If the First Order ever found out who he was, who his mother - hell, even his father - was, it would potentially be disastrous.


	11. Never Really Gone

Ben fell to his knees next to Rey's body. What had he done??? This was the woman that he loved. The mother of his child! The child that he just found out about.

He picked up Rey by the shoulders and gently shook her.

"Rey?.... REY???" He called out to her. There was no response.

"REY!" He cried.

His mind took him to their second to last conversation. The one they had four years ago....

~ One Year, Four Months and Three Weeks after the events of The Last Jedi ~

Rey was softly humming to herself as she folded a series of white linens on top of the bed. She should have been sleeping. That's what the plan had been. Rose and Finn had offered to watch Lucas for a couple of hours so that she could catch up on some well needed rest. She knew being a single mother was going to be hard, but her friends had been so kind and helpful over the last month, it made things a little bit easier. But no matter how many helping hands she had, there was nothing they could do to help with the turmoil of emotions she felt inside.

She tried telling herself it was just her body regulating itself from her pregnancy hormones back to her normal self. She knew that wasn't fully true. There were some nights, more than she'd like to admit, where she would cry herself to sleep, or cry as she nursed Lucas, or cry while she rocked him to sleep. Frankly, she was starting to think she cried more than he did.

She reached into her laundry basket and grabbed another handful of white linens. Lucas sure went through a lot of diapers. She wondered if she had provided enough for Rose and Finn in the baby bag she left with them. Maybe she should have sent along four instead of three...

Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Her head shot up and she dropped the linens she was holding. The atmosphere in the room was changing. The sounds were becoming warped and the temperature dropped. Could it be???

She whirled around, finding Ben standing in front of her. He smiled at her as if nothing was wrong. As if he hadn't been gone for months. His face began to fall when he saw she did not return his look of happiness. She looked angry and partially fearful.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" She yelled at him. She could not contain her emotions.

"What do you mean?" Ben asked, feeling hurt and confused.

"Do you know how long its been since I last saw you???" She snapped. He was starting to get angry.

"Why does that matter?" He shot back. Her eyes raged.

"It matters! It matters a lot!!!" She yelled. She grit her teeth before opening her mouth. She was about to tell him what had happened. About everything that had occurred since that one night of wild passion. She closed her mouth shut tight. No. He would not know. He would never know.

"You wouldn't understand." She said, turning away from him. She reached for a linen and he grabbed for her arm. Her head snapped up towards him, eyes burning. She tried to pull her arm away but his hold tightened.

"Tell me what's wrong." He asked. She continued to tug at her arm.

"Let me go!" She snapped at him. He dropped her arm like it burnt him. He glared at her.

"Something has changed you." He said cautiously. Rey fumed as she avoided his gaze and angrily folded another diaper.

"You left me." She said, trying to hold back tears.

"I would never leave you." He said, his voice changing back to a deep softness.

"But you did." She said, wiping hurriedly at her eyes.

Ben sighed. It had never occurred to him that their last moment shared had meant so much to her. Yes, he told her he loved her. It was the truth. She told him she loved him in return. They were on either sides of this galactic war. Their love was almost forbidden. She knew he was the Supreme Leader. If she truly loved him, why was she so angry? She should have known their communications would be few and far between given the circumstances of their relationship.

"I was never really gone." He said. "I think about you constantly. I worry about you." He reached out a hand to touch her cheek. She nearly flinched.

"I can manage on my own just fine." She said angrily. He stepped back from her, eyes narrowing.

"I thought you would have understood more than anyone that what we have is different. You should have known that I can't control this."

She wiped at her eyes again. He was right. He could not control their connections. Neither could she. If she had.... Perhaps she could have delivered the news about her pregnancy herself. She began to get angry again. He probably wouldn't have even cared. He was too involved with the dark side. He never would have left the First Order for her.

"Just forget about it." Rey said frustrated. "I don't need you."

Ben frowned.

"My feelings for you have not changed. I see however, that yours have."

Rey remained silent. As angry as she was, deep down she still loved that man.

"I will always love you." Ben muttered. And just as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared again.

~ Present Day ~

Ben clutched Rey to his chest, the guilt of his actions enveloping him in a world of darkness. Now that conversation made sense. She was angry at him because he missed out on what was the most important thing in the world to her. Her child. His child.

What was worse, was that he had discovered not too long after this conversation how to control their connections. It was how he was able to visit her all those nights long ago. Had he only learned sooner how to harness the power of their connection, he could have been there. Everything would have changed.

There was a loud click behind Ben's ear and he felt the collar of his jacket tighten against his throat. Someone had grabbed a handful of his jacket from behind and was pulling forcefully on it.

In his despair, the Force hold Ben had on Poe had broken. Poe held the point of a blaster at the back of Ben's head, the other hand on the jacket.

"Call off the attack, or so help me I will blow your head off right here." Poe said threateningly to Ben. Ben was in shock. Poe kicked a foot at Ben's spine.

"I know you've got a communications device on you. Call off the attack or I'll shoot you!" Poe said again.

Ben fumbled for the small black object within his inner jacket. He pressed a button on its side as he held it towards his face.

"Call off the attack." Ben said sternly into the device. It crackled to life.

"Sir? Call of the attack? Are you MAD?"

"I SAID CALL IT OFF!" Ben roared into the device.

It crackled again. Ben looked towards the door for the little boy, but he was no longer in sight. He was in a panic. He couldn't understand the reply that had come through the device. The next thing he felt was a sharp blow against the back of his head.

~~~~~~

Ben came to slowly. He opened his eyes, his blurred vision having a hard time adjusting to the dim lighting of the room he was in. His head pounded fiercely. He tried to raise a hand to his head but he discovered his wrists had been shackled.

He blinked several times as his eyes got used to the light. He surveyed his surroundings. Kriff. It was a prison cell.

The room was windowless. There was a series of bars against one side of the room, revealing several unoccupied cells across from his. He was laid on a lumpy mattress that smelled of dust. He groaned, rolling himself into a seated position.

What had happened? He remembered piloting his Silencer down to the planets surface. Seeking out Rey.

Rey.... REY!!!

Was she okay? He had lost his temper and choked her. The sight of her fallen body laying helplessly in his lap flashed through his mind. Oh Gods, what had he done???

Then there was the Resistance General. He commanded Ben call off the attack. Did the First Order obey? To whom was he a prisoner to now?

His answer was soon answered as the General entered the hallway from a side door and walked down the hall, standing just outside his cell. He had sauntered in like he owned the place. Well... Technically he did... His swagger angered Ben.

"You're one lucky son of a bitch, you know that?" Poe said, clicking his tongue disapprovingly and shaking his head. Ben glared at Poe from his seat on the bed.

"Where am I?" Ben asked Poe. Poe raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really? That's your first question? You're going with that one?" He shrugged his shoulders as he crossed his arms. "All right then."

Poe cleared his throat.

"You're the prisoner of the Resistance. After the First Order refused to call off the attack, we took you into custody. Apparently your second in command, Hugs, cared more about taking control of the First Order instead of your safety. So, we took out his cruiser with a hammerhead corvette."

Hux's fate did not phase Ben. The circumstances however intrigued him.

"You have a hammerhead corvette?" He asked. Poe picked at his fingernails and shrugged.

"While you've been hiding in the Deep Core, I've been busy myself. Hard at work." Poe said smugly. Ben frowned.

"Your mother had a hand in acquiring the ship, before she passed of course." Poe said, rubbing salt in the wound. Ben stood and walked towards the bars of his cell.

"You dare speak about my mother to me?" Ben growled to Poe. Poe took a step towards the bars.

"I was at her side when she passed. I was the son she deserved." Poe said acidly to Ben. Ben couldn't grasp the bars with his wrists bound so he knocked the cuffs loudly against the bars in anger.

"I am her son." Ben hissed, baring his teeth at Poe. Poe just smirked and stared back.

"She was right to hide him from you." Poe said quietly, swiftly changing the subject to Lucas. Ben furrowed his brow.

"Where is he...." Ben growled.

"I'm not at privy to share that information with you." Poe said nonchalantly. Ben banged his cuffs against the bars again.

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" He roared.

Poe ignored him and looked instead towards the door he had come through. Ben followed Poe's gaze and he went pale at the sight.

Rey entered the hallway. Her hair was down, the ends brushing against a layer of bandages wrapped around her neck. Ben could see the edges of red and purple bruising peeking out around her collarbone. She was alive! But he had done this to her.

"Rey! You're alive!" Ben gasped as she approached his cell. Poe and Rey shared a look.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Poe asked her. Rey looked at Ben momentarily before glancing back at Poe.

"I'm sure." Rey said, nodding. Poe sighed and fished around in his pocket for a metallic card that unlocked the cell door once he passed the metal over its lock. Poe pulled the door open.

"Don't try anything funny." Poe snapped to Ben. "You're only alive because of her."

Ben let that sink in for a moment. Rey entered his cell and Poe shut the door behind her. The door clicked locked again, but Poe remained on the other side - waiting.

Ben stared at Rey. He was so happy she was alive. He hated himself for what he did to her.

"Rey I -" Ben began, but his words were cut short as Rey hurled her hand across his face with an echoing slap.


	12. Don't Blame Me

*briefly inspired by 'Don't Blame Me' by Taylor Swift*

After Ben had released Rey and she fell to the ground, Poe could feel his muscles unlock. He was no longer under Ben's Force.

"Lou. Hide!" Poe hissed to Lou. He didn't need to be told twice, the boy scattered. Poe just hoped he would be able to find him the second time.

It was pure luck that he came across Lou. After he had exited the hangar looking for Rey, he had gone back inside, unnoticed by the pilots - too busy scrambling to prepare their starships. He had wandered back to the cafeteria, still looking for Rey, when Poe came across him.

Now he had just sent him off to hide who knows where inside the old house. As long as he listened to Poe and hid well, he would be fine. Poe had more important things to deal with.

"Rey?.... REY???" Ben had fallen to he knees and pulled Rey's unresponsive body into his lap. He was clutching her by her shoulders. Poe held his blaster steady as he stealthily rounded behind Ben, out of sight.

"REY!" Ben shouted.

Poe clicked the blaster from 'stun' to 'kill', using one hand to hold the blaster square against the back of Ben's head. The other hand he used to gather the fabric of his jacket, pulling it tight into his fist.

"Call off the attack, or so help me I will blow your head off right here." He said threateningly to Ben. Ben did not respond. Poe pressed a boot against the mans back and pushed with it.

"I know you've got a communications device on you. Call off the attack or I'll shoot you!" He repeated.

Ben fumbled a shaky hand into the inside of his jacket, pulling out a device. He pressed a button on its side, raising it to his lips.

"Call off the attack." He ordered in a steady voice. The response from the other end was almost immediate.

"Sir? Call of the attack? Are you MAD?"

"I SAID CALL IT OFF!" Ben roared into the device.

The device lightly crackled and a confused yet defiant voice answered.

"I will do no such thing! What's going on down there? Supreme Leader? Answer me!"

With the First Order refusing their leaders command, Poe took matters into his own hands. This involved clocking the brunt part of his blaster against the back of Ben's head - knocking him out. As Ben fell backwards unconscious, Rey rolled off his lap.

Poe scrambled to Rey. Her lips were a pale blue. A red outline of Ben's handprints could be seen wrapping around her throat.

"Rey... Can you hear me?" Poe said, his voice wavering. He picked up one of her arms and felt for a pulse. It was weak. He needed to act fast.

Poe performed mouth to mouth resuscitation, grateful for the first aid training he had from his early days in the flight academy. He pressed on her chest, and breathed through her mouth. After what felt like an eternity - Rey's eyes flew open as she gasped for air. She then grasped at her throat with a shaky hand at the pain of breathing.

"Rey!!!" Poe said happily, pulling her tight against his chest. A hand came up and gently pressed against his cheek.

"Poe...." Rey whispered, her eyes brimming with tears and her voice straining. "You saved me."

"I couldn't let you die." Poe said, smiling down at her. Rey's eyes began to panic.

"Where is Lou?" She croaked.

"Hiding in the house. You wait here. I'll come back. I swear."

Rey laid back down on the floor, a hand still clutching at her throat. She didn't even notice Ben's slumped body nearby.

Poe ran through the house as the sound of the fight continued outside.

"Lou?" Poe called out. "It's safe now. Come on out!" Poe called as he jogged up the steps.

A door down the hall creaked open and Lou stepped out.

"Is my Mamma going to be okay?" He asked Poe, taking the hand that Poe held out to him.

"She's awake, but we need to take her to the med bay. Can you be a brave boy when we go outside again?" He asked.

Lou nodded, sniffling.

"Okay."

They went back down to the ballroom, where Rey was resting on the floor. She sat up as Lou ran into the room.

"Mamma!" He cried, wrapping his arms around her. Rey fought through the pain in her neck and hugged her son tight.

"Are you okay, Mamma?" Lou asked her.

"Yes honey. I'm okay." Rey said quietly to him, her voice raspy. Poe helped Rey up off the ground. That's when she noticed Ben sprawled out on the floor behind her.

"Is he..."

"Do you want him to be?" Poe asked, pointing the blaster at Ben.

"Not in front of him!" Rey gasped, trying to shield Lou's eyes. Lou peeked around her hand anyways.

"I'll do it." Poe said, dead serious.

"Just..... Throw him in a cell. He has to pay for what he did." Rey said hurriedly.

Poe made a face before turning towards Ben. He kicked at him to make sure he was still out cold before unceremoniously dragging him by his ankle across the gardens and back into the hangar.

~~~~~~

Rey lay in a hospital bed with Lou curled up next to her. The medical droids had slathered her neck with a strange paste before wrapping it up with a series of medical bandages. She was given an oxygen mask to help her breathe. Rey softly stroked Lou's hair with one hand. Lou had fallen asleep. Probably a good thing too because more and more patients were starting to arrive, bearing wounds from the ongoing battle outside.

She eventually fell asleep and when she woke - the battle had been won. Shouts and hollers echoed in celebration down the halls of the bunker.

"What's going on Mamma?" Lou asked groggily from next to her. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

"The battle is over." Rey told him.

"The bad guys are gone?" He asked.

"Yes. At last." Rey said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"What about the man who hurt you?"

Rey frowned and wrapped an arm around her son, holding him tight to her side.

"I'm not sure..." she said. She leaned over and kissed the top of Lou's head and he settled back into her side.

A few hours later, Rose and Finn arrived at the medical ward. Rose burst into tears when she saw Rey. Rey noticed Finn glanced at Lou with a brand new perspective, almost as if he was seeing him for the first time.

"Oh Rey...." Rose sobbed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Rey frowned. They must have spoken to Poe.

"I was afraid how you would react." Rey said, ashamed.

"You're our friend Rey. We would have understood."

Rose looked up at Finn, who had yet to speak.

"Finn?" She said to him pointedly. Finn cleared his throat and looked to Rey.

"I think I knew.... And I just denied it for so long, I kind of forgot about it." He admitted to Rey. He sighed and gave her a small smile. "It's weird, I'll admit. But we still love you. Both of you."

Rey burst into tears, annoying Lou.

"Stop crying Mamma." He said. Finn kind of chuckled at this. Rose round the bed and helped Lou down from the bed.

"Your Mamma needs to rest." Rose said, ruffling the boys hair. "Come and hang with Finn and I for a while. Hmmm? Would you like that?"

"I'm hungry." Lou complained.

"We'll take care of him for a few. Okay?" Rose said, smiling to Rey. Rey weakly nodded. Finn and Rose walked out of the room, with Lou in-between them, holding onto each of their hands.

Rey fell back asleep and when she woke the second time, Poe was sitting at her bedside. Rey was instantly reminded of how he took vigil at Leia's bedside. Poe smiled at her.

"Hey there sleepy head. How you feeling?" He asked her.

"Sore." Rey said as she sat up in her bed. She noticed Poe had a new bruise on his face.

"Where'd that come from?" She asked him. Poe frowned.

"Oh this? Just a tussle with a First Order General. That's all." Poe said, shrugging it off as no big deal.

Rey began to fiddle with the sheets of her bed.

"Did you take him to the cells?" She asked softly. Poe frowned again.

"Yes. Put some of those cuffs Rose designed on him. You know, the ones that suppress the Force."

"Good thinking." Rey said, slightly smirking.

"He's still out. I think I hit him pretty good." Poe said, sounding proud.

"When can I see him?"

Poe tried not to glare at Rey but he could not hide his disappointment.

"Rey, the man tried to KILL you. And you still want to see him?"

"I owe him an explanation."

"You owe him nothing." Poe snapped.

"He knows he has a child now."

Poe sighed.

"I wish I could change your mind, but I know you're stubborn as hell." He said, shaking his head. He leaned back in his seat, tapping his foot as he sat in thought. He sighed again.

"All right. Fine. I'll take you to him. But I'm staying there. I'm not leaving you alone with that guy." Poe said. Rey nodded.

~~~~~~

She could hear Poe and Ben muttering on the other side of the door. The topic soon became heated and she could hear Ben shout - "TELL ME WHERE HE IS!". She took this as her cue to finally enter and face him.

"Rey! You're alive!" Ben gasped as he saw her enter the hall. Poe glanced unsure at Rey as she came to a halt, standing next to him in the hall outside the bars of Ben's cell.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Poe asked. She looked at Ben briefly before looking back at Poe.

"I'm sure." She said, nodding. Poe sighed and pulled out the card that unlocked the cell doors. He swiped the card over its lock, pulling the door open.

"Don't try anything funny." Poe snapped to Ben. "You're only alive because of her."

Rey entered his cell and Poe shut the door behind her. The door clicked locked again, and Poe remained on the other side - waiting, just like he said he would.

Ben stared at her wide eyed, almost in disbelief she was standing before him.

"Rey I -" Ben began but his words were cut short as she hurled her hand across his face, the slap resounding throughout the room.

"Atta girl." Poe said on the other side of the bars.

Had he not been in an absolute predicament right now, he would have offered a cheeky reply. For now, he only flexed his jaw, trying to relieve the stinging sensation that filled his face.

"THAT." Spat Rey. "Is for trying to kill me."

Ben gazed into her eyes, seeing the intense hurt they held.

"My actions were inexcusable." Ben said steadily. He glanced at the bandages around her neck once more and he felt sick to his stomach.

"You're damn right they were." Poe chimed in.

"Nothing I can say or do could ever make up for what I did."

"Look at him. He can't even properly apologize."

Rey turned to face Poe momentarily.

"Enough with the comments Poe."

Poe frowned.

"Please?" Rey hissed. Poe grimaced at Ben before pressing his lips in a thin line Rey turned back to Ben.

"I overreacted." Ben said, taking a tentative step towards Rey. "I hate myself for what I did to you."

"Does that include leaving me to raise a child on my own?" Rey asked acidly.

Ben frowned.

"I didn't know you had a kid. You could have told me!" Ben shouted.

"How could I have told you when you disappeared for a year?" She shouted back.

"Well you could have....." Ben began but he trailed off.

"I couldn't exactly take a ship to the most dangerous part of the galaxy to tell you. Besides, I would probably would have been killed had I tried."

Ben puffed out his upper lip in anger. She was correct. Any Resistance ship would have been shot down within seconds of being spotted anywhere near the First Order.

"Fine." Ben said, half annoyed and half defeated. "I'm sorry you had to raise him on your own."

Rey just crossed her arms at him and frowned. Ben nervously shuffled his feet and twisted his wrists within the cuffs.

"That time we spoke... When you were angry?" Ben questioned cautiously.

"Yes." Rey answered icily.

"That would have been.... About... About a month after?" Ben asked, his brow furrowing in thought.

"Yes." Rey answered, a little less angry this time.

"I think I felt you." He said. It was Rey's turn to frown at him.

"What do you mean?" She asked, dropping her arms to her side.

"I think I felt you giving birth through the Force."

"Ew." Whispered Poe.

Rey gave Ben a skeptical look that soon faded away when she recalled the first time they had connected back on Ahch-To. She had felt a tug at her cheek that morning as she woke. The same feeling Ben was experiencing as he was having the stitches removed from his face.

"I thought Hux had tried to poison me. I couldn't move. I felt sick. My sides hurt like they were being torn open." Ben explained.

Rey pursed her lips.

"Then you ought to know how much I suffered." Rey shot at him.

"I still came and saw you. For about two years after that." He admitted. Rey continued to frown as she looked at him.

"I took some time to train on my own. I learned how to connect to you on my own free will. I would check on you from time to time...." Ben paused as his eyes flicked to Poe, still lounging at the cell bars. "Until I saw you with him one night."

"Wait- I thought you couldn't see other people. That's what Rey told me." Poe interrupted.

"Ever since I could connect to her on my own, the perspective of the Force had widened."

Poe made a face. The Force was always confusing to outsiders.

"Rey..." Ben said softly as he took another step towards her. Out the corner of his eye he could see Poe reach a hand down to his blaster.

"Rey, I wish I could have learned to connect on my own earlier. Had I known.... I would have been there for you."

Rey scoffed and crossed her arms again, looking away from him.

"Rey.... Please....." He said to her. Her eyes glanced up at him.

"Please believe me Rey...." He took another step. Rey hugged her arms tighter around herself.

"I.... I don't know Ben...." Rey murmured. "I don't know if I can."

A tear streamed down her face. Ben's face fell.

"At least let me see him." He asked her quietly. "Please."


	13. Family Time

"Please..."

Rey stared up at Ben. He looked so broken and sad, like he had in the throne room after they had killed Snoke. Right after he asked her to join him. She had considered taking his hand then, knowing she was destined to have a connection with this man.

But this man was also highly dangerous. He lied. He plotted. He killed.

However, this man had been lied to himself. He had been mistreated by Snoke, forced to kill his own father. She knew there was good in him. She could feel it deep within his shattered soul.

She peeked up at his eyes again and she felt weak. Not only were they the same eyes as Leias, but they were the same eyes as her son. After all, he was her sons father....

"Fine...." She mumbled.

"You can't be serious." Poe said on the other side of the cell.

Ben tried to contain a smile, his lip twitching ever so slightly.

"Poe..." Rey said, giving Poe a look. "Will you go get him?"

Poe opened his mouth to say something but Ben interrupted.

"No." Ben said. Rey turned sharply to Ben.

"No?" She asked him. Ben shook his head.

"Not here...." Ben said quietly. "Not like this...."

Rey frowned at his request.

"You're still a criminal even if he doesn't see you behind bars." Poe said to Ben in a taunting voice. Ben glared at Poe.

Rey sighed and stuck her hand through the bars at Poe. Poe looked at her as if she was insane.

"Give me the key Poe." She said. After they stared at each other for a minute, Poe eventually grumbled and pulled the metallic card from his pocket and handed it to Rey.

"I hope you know what you're doing." Poe said to her.

"He won't try anything." Rey replied. She turned to Ben. "Will you?"

Ben gave the briefest nod and held out his wrists. Without touching him, Rey unlocked the cuffs and they fell to the ground. She swiftly picked them up. As Ben rubbed at his freed wrists, Rey passed Poe the card and he unlocked the cell door.

"So you're aware, I have my blaster on me and I will use it if I have to." Poe said to Ben as he followed Rey out of the cell.

"That won't be necessary." Ben said blankly to Poe.

Poe made a mocking face behind Ben's face.

"That won't be necessary." Poe mimicked.

~~~~~~

Poe kept his hand on his blaster at all times on the walk from the cells. Several people gave them odd looks as they walked down the halls. After they passed, the people would whisper amongst themselves, curious as to what their prisoner was doing out of his cell.

As they approached Rey's classroom, Rey could feel Ben tense up aside her. They could hear a murmuring of voices ahead, followed by some light laughter.

Suddenly, Rey halted. She turned to Ben. Poe looked eagerly between them. Maybe Rey had finally changed her mind.

"Wait here." She said to Ben.

Rey entered the classroom. Lou was laughing at Rose as she was making funny faces at him. She had puffed out her cheeks and held her arms out to her side and was waddling back and forth. Finn was smiling at the two.

"Mamma!" Lou said happily as he saw Rey. He ran and gave her a hug.

"Mamma, guess what?" Lou asked her.

"Tell me my love." Rey said.

"Miss Rose says that she and Mr. Finn are going to have a baby!"

So Rose must have been imitating how Rey teased she was going to get as big as a Shaak. That was certainly how she had felt when she was pregnant with Lou.

"How wonderful." Rey said. She took one of Lou's hands.

"Lou... I need you to listen to me." She said. Lou's face began to fall.

"Someone wants to see you...." She said quietly to him. "So he's going to come in here. And I want you to know that everything is going to be okay. I'll be right here with you. And so will the General, and Miss Rose, and Mr. Finn."

Lou thought about this for a minute and he nodded.

"Okay. Who is it?"

There was a small gasp from Rose. Rey looked up at them and saw Finn looked like he had seen a ghost. Rey looked back over her shoulder and saw Ben hesitating in the doorway. She stood up and took a step back from her son. Ben continued to stare emotionally into the room. Poe nudged him with his blaster and the men stepped inside the room.

Ben walked around the stacks of mediation cushions on the wall next to a basket of training staffs. Lou frowned a little at Ben, but he did not seem fearful.

Ben approached Lou and knelt down to his eye level.

"Hello." He said gently to Lou. Lou was now eyeing him curiously.

"Hello." Lou replied. Poe was standing next to Rey, one hand on his blaster.

"What's your name?" He asked.

Even though he had seen Rey's memories of the child, in his rage, he could barely remember what the boys name was.

"Louie." Lou replied. Ben glanced up at Rey. That was kind of an odd name.

"My friends call me Lou." Louie continued.

"Lou?" Ben asked.

"It's short for Lucas." Rey replied, crossing her arms.

"Lucas Han." Lou said, nodding in agreement with his mother. Ben shot Rey a look that said 'are you kidding me?'

Rey practically glared back. Ben sort of sighed and looked back at the boy.

"So... Lucas Han."

Lou nodded again.

"Han was my grandfathers name." Lou stated matter of factly.

Ben was slightly taken aback. So Rey had told him of his family. Well, obviously not ALL of his family. Ben then studied him. Lou's face was clearly shaped like Rey's. He had a tiny little nose and big brown eyes. Ben nearly squinted at his eyes, trying to determine if they were also like his mothers. This was his son? He looked so much like Rey it was hard to see any familiarities between himself and the boy.

"Han was my fathers name." Ben said simply to Lou.

Lou made a face. His eyes narrowed and his little brow furrowed. His upper lip puffed out in a sign of anger and annoyance.

THERE he was.

"I know you're my Dad." Lou said back in a voice full of sass.

Rey's jaw dropped.

"How do you know that?" Rey asked Lou.

Lou looked back at Ben and then back to his mother.

"I've seen him before.... In my dreams." Lou said. Rey looked at Poe, troubled.

"What dreams?" Rey asked him. Lou shrugged.

"Just dreams. He's always talking to grandfather."

"Han?" Rey asked confused.

Ben shook his head.

"He means my grandfather..." Ben said, slowly standing up.

"Is there anyone else in your dreams?" Rey asked Lou.

"Uncle Luke and Grandma Leia."

It was Poe's turn to be shocked.

"You talk to Leia?" He asked Lou. Lou looked around at all the curious faces staring at him. He nodded.

"Honey, why didn't you tell me you spoke to them?" Rey asked Lou. Lou just shrugged again.

"I don't know." He said. "I thought they were just dreams."

Rey sighed and went over and hugged her son tightly.

"I'm sorry if you're mad at me for not telling you about your father." Rey said to him. Lou looked up at Ben.

"I can explain more to you when you're older, if you'd like." Rey said, rubbing Lou's shoulders.

"Grandma said I might meet him one day." Lou told his mother, still staring over her shoulder at Ben. Lou then walked around Rey and up to Ben.

"Are you going to hurt my Mamma again?" Lou asked Ben.

Ben's face fell and he shook his head at him.

"Never." Ben told him.

It was Lou's turn to study Ben. He squinted up at him, looking him over from head to toe.

"I like your shoes." Lou said. Ben smiled.

"I like them too."

"What happened to your face?" Lou asked next.

Both Finn and Poe stifled giggles. Rey just looked embarrassed.

"Your mother didn't tell you?" Ben replied, smirking. "She gave me this scar."

Lou looked at his mother with amazement.

"Wow Mamma. You were mean."

Finn and Poe snickered again.

"Maybe I can tell you the story one day." Ben said to Lou.

"All right, I think we've had enough of family time today." Rey said hurriedly, taking Lou by the shoulders and leading him away from Ben. Ben looked hurt. Lou looked back at Ben, worried.

"It's getting late." Rey said. "You need to be getting to bed."

"But Mamma...."

"No 'buts'." Rey said to him sternly.

"Yes ma'am." Lou said begrudgingly.

"Back to your cell." Poe said to Ben, nodding his head. Ben frowned.

"I'll see you after you put him to bed." Poe said to Rey, gently kissing her on the cheek. Ben grimaced. Rey nodded and picked Lou up in her arms.

Rey and Lou followed Rose and Finn down the hall to the right, Poe and Ben to the left.

Ben looked back over his shoulder as Poe led the way back to cells. Lou was staring at him from over Rey's shoulder. His little hand gave a quick wave and he mouthed 'bye'.


	14. Red

*briefly inspired by 'Red' by Taylor Swift*

Poe looked behind him, sensing Ben slowing down in his stride. Ben was looking back at Rey as she followed Rose and Finn down the opposite end of the hall. Poe halted and nudged at Ben's elbow with his blaster.

"Move it." Poe said sharply.

Ben turned back around, a frown on his face. The walk back to the cells was silent and awkward. Poe reached in his jacket and pulled out the card that unlocked the cell. He held the door open for Ben. Ben didn't move.

"Aren't you going to cuff me?" Ben asked Poe. Poe made a face at him as he placed the card back inside his pocket.

"I could. But I think you've been punished enough. Get in." Poe nodded his head towards the interior of the cell. Ben sighed and walked inside the cell, his hands swinging freely at his sides. He turned and faced the General as Poe slammed the cell door in his face. It locked automatically.

"I'm not here to play childish games with you." Ben said to Poe after the door had locked. Poe stared at him.

"You're right. You're here because you're a prisoner to the Resistance."

"You know what I mean." Ben shot back. Poe glared.

"She will never be yours. She will never choose you." Poe said firmly. "Especially after what you did to her."

"You do realize, she already chose me once before." Ben replied.

Poe flexed his hand on his blaster.

"Just wait. Soon she'll come to her senses and allow me to give you the death that you deserve. One filled with plenty of pain and suffering."

Ben smirked at the General.

"We'll see."

Poe glared at the former Supreme Leader with fierce eyes before turning and storming out of the cellblock.

~~~~~~

As soon as Rey entered the orphans bedroom, Temiri and Enzo ran over to give her hugs.

"Miss Rey! You're okay!" Enzo said, hugging her around her middle.

"Yes I am." Rey said, smiling at the boys. The boys hugged Lou next.

"Were you okay while I was gone?" She asked them. The two boys nodded.

"Was it scary?" She asked. Enzo nodded. Temiri shrugged.

"It wasn't that bad... I guess..." Temiri answered.

"Well, it's all over now. You guys are safe." She said, giving Temiri another hug. The boys crawled into their bunk bed and Rey led Lou over to his single bed.

Once he had outgrown his baby bed in her room, Lou had been bunking with the orphans next door. The three boys were almost like brothers at this point.

Rey helped Lou dress in his pajamas and tucked him in his bed. Lou sniffled a bit as Rey leaned over to kiss him on his forehead.

"What's wrong Lou?" Rey asked. Lou sniffed.

"Will I see Dad again?" Lou asked quietly.

Rey frowned. Maybe Poe was right. Maybe letting Ben see Lou was a bad idea. Now he was beginning to get attached and was asking too many questions. Questions she had been avoiding since he became old enough to understand the world around him.

"This isn't the time to discuss this." Rey said firmly as she covered Lou with a blanket.

"Yes ma'am." Lou answered sadly. He turned over and pulled a stuffed toy close to his chest. Rey gave Lou a peck on the forehead before standing.

"Goodnight boys." She said to the room.

"Goodnight Miss Rey..." Came the solemn replies.

She exited the room and right before the door fully shut, she could hear a bed creak as one of the boys turned over. Rey cracked the door ever so slightly so she could peek inside.

"You met your dad?" Temiri asked Lou, hanging over the side of his bunk.

"Uh huh." Lou answered, turning over to face his friends.

"What's he like?" Enzo asked, an arm propped up on his pillow.

"I'm not sure." Lou said, his little forehead furrowing. "But he dresses cool."

"How so?" Enzo asked.

"He wears all black. And he's got these tall boots. Oh, and a scar on his face that he says my Mamma gave to him"

"That sounds badass." Temiri replied.

Rey felt a tiny twitch at her mouth as she shut the door. She really should have gone back in there and scolded Temiri for his language. But not tonight. It was her first night back from the med bay and she was exhausted.

Rey entered her room and looked around. It somehow felt different. Maybe it was just from her nerves. She sat down on the edge of her bed and ran a hand back and forth across the cool, crisp sheets. Even though she was tired, she was also too afraid to go to sleep. She stood back up and walked across to her desk where she pulled her journal towards her. She scribbled down the date before pausing there, charcoal in hand.

What could she even document about the past few days? Yet again, too much had gone on. And some of it she wished to erase from memory entirely. She sat there, occasionally tapping the tip of the charcoal against the pages when she recognized the swift knock at the door.

Poe didn't wait for her to respond this time before entering. He came over to her and perched himself on top of her desk.

"Did I interrupt?" He asked her. She shook her head.

"Lou asleep?" She shook her head again.

"Hardly. The boys started asking about his dad." She replied, indicating Temiri and Enzo. Poe sighed.

"What was he saying?"

"They're very impressed by the scar."

Poe breathed a laugh.

"One of your best moments, I'd say." Poe told her. "Back when you hated him."

"I never truly hated him." Rey corrected Poe. Poe frowned.

"Rey, his list of offenses is longer than he is tall." Poe said, stretching out an arm in a gesturing fashion. "He is a killer. He can not be trusted. And you can not keep pining away after him, especially after what he did to you."

Rey set down her charcoal and turned to face Poe.

"You only know Kylo Ren the Supreme Leader. You don't know Ben Solo."

Poe rolled his eyes.

"I haven't been pining for him on behalf of just myself. How selfish do you think I am?" Rey said, struggling to raise her voice.

"I held out hope for him not for me, but for my son. OUR son. You think I liked having to raise him on my own?"

"You didn't raise him on your own." Poe interrupted. "We all helped you. I changed that kids diapers and I knew the whole time who his father was. THE. WHOLE. TIME." He ended with emphasis.

"After growing up without my parents, a family was all I ever wanted for my child. And when that time came, unexpectedly may I add, I wasn't even able to give him that. Do you know how that made me feel?"

"I had to be raised by my grandparents Rey. You forget that." Poe said.

"At least YOU had grandparents to help raise and guide you. You forget THAT." Rey shot back.

She sighed and laid her head in her hands for a moment.

"You need to understand Poe.... I can't.... I can't be there for you like you want.... There will always be someone before you in my life."

Poe laid a hand on her shoulder.

"But I do understand that Rey." He said. "I would never come between you and Louie."

Rey shook her head.

"Not Louie." She said. "Ben."

Poe frowned.

"I'm not saying what he did to me is inexcusable. By no means was it okay. But he is still the father of my son. My first love. I know the man I fell in love with is still in there. Not the monster we saw earlier. And I still have loved that man, to this very day."

Poe sat there on the desk, his head hanging down. He did not like what he had heard. He felt broken. He felt disappointed. The roadblocks of their potential relationship that he had chalked up as being Rey's stubbornness, had apparently went deeper than he had known.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that." Rey said quietly to him. Poe sighed.

"Don't be." Poe said, shaking his head. He crossed his arms across his chest and sighed again.

"He is still our prisoner. No matter your feelings for him, he still has to be held responsible for his actions against the Resistance."

Rey frowned and nodded her head.

"I understand." Rey said, frowning.

"You make my life very difficult, you know that?" Poe said to her.

She glanced up at him and saw the glint of playfulness in his eye. She gave him a subtle smile back.

"Somebody has to." She replied.

Poe slid off her desk and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"I suppose I'll see you in the morning." He said to her. She nodded.

"Goodnight." She said to him as he opened the door.

"Goodnight." He replied, quietly shutting the door behind him.

~~~~~~

No longer feeling like writing, Rey chose to read through her journal instead. It was a very nostalgic feeling as she read through the ups and downs of her life - ever since the Resistance moved into the bunker. She found herself tearing up, smiling, even eliciting a small laugh or two.

As she turned to the next page there was a soft click as her door opened.

"Go back to sleep Lou." Rey said, not turning around. The door widened before clicking again. Rey looked up as she shut her journal. She stood from her chair, setting the journal on her desk, turning to face the intruder. She strained her ears but the whirring of the bunker filtration system continued to hum overhead. This wasn't just another Force visitation. This was real.

"How did you get in here?" Rey asked Ben.

He offered a sly smile and reached into his jacket pocket, revealing the metallic key card he had swiped from Poe's jacket.

"Levitated it from his pocket when he wasn't looking."

"Obviously." Rey said, reaching out to take the card from his hand. He whisked the card out of her reach, offering her another smile.

"I'll need this to get back into my cell." He said.

"You aren't escaping?"

"Why would I want to leave?"

Rey sighed.

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you."

Rey frowned.

Ben took a step towards her.

"We have a lot to catch up on."

Rey breathed a snort.

"Please Rey..." Ben said, taking another step forward. "I'm here now. Isn't that what you've wanted?"

He reached his hand out, taking one of her free hands and pulling her towards him.

His touch was like a spark. She had forgotten how he affected her. Their connection was so electric.

She allowed him to place a hand at her waist. He leaned down, letting go of her hand and raising his hand to her shoulder. He brushed her hair aside and gently placed a kiss on top of her neck bandages. Even though she could not feel his touch, she shuddered at the motion.

"I'm so sorry Rey..." He muttered to her. He drew back his head and he saw a tear drip down her face as she stared up at him. He took a thumb and wiped the tear away.

"I can never forgive myself for what I did to you my love." He whispered.

She found herself placing a hand on his scar as she stared into his apologetic eyes.

"I will never forgive you." She said to him. His face fell and he nodded.

"I understand." He said as he began to draw away.

She reached for his hand with her other hand, stopping him.

"But you're right... You're here now. So you might as well start making up for lost time."

His eyes brightened a little in the dim room.

"And I expect to hear a daily apology from you."

He nodded.

"Anything." He answered eagerly.

Rey dropped her hand from his face as she continued to study him. His fallen shoulders showed that he was vulnerable and non-threatening. She glanced down at her hand that still clung to his. She intertwined her fingers with his.

"I love you." She whispered to him as she gently squeezed his hand. "I still have loved you. This entire time." She admitted to him

He took a step towards her and leaned down to touch his forehead against hers.

"How can I ever make things up to you?" He asked her softly.

Rey stroked the back of Ben's hand with her thumb as she thought about his question.

"You could start with a kiss... I suppose." Rey said.

Ben's mouth twitched at her answer.

"I was hoping you'd ask." He said.

He gently placed a finger on the underside of her chin, tilting her head upwards, just like he had when they first kissed. He leaned his face down to hers and gently captured her lips.

Rey shocked herself by responding right away to his kiss. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and pulled herself up into his chest. His arms then wrapped protectively around her body and he held her close as their lips continued to press against each other.

They broke away slightly and Ben gave her additional kisses on her cheeks and nose. Rey slightly cleared her throat and stepped back.

"I think that's enough for tonight." She said.

Ben looked disappointed but nodded. Rey reached over to the desk and picked up her journal. She held it out to him.

"What's this?" He asked.

"You said we have a lot to catch up on. Lucky for you, I've been keeping a journal."

He reached out and took the journal.

"You can read about everything you missed." She told him.

He didn't even open it before quickly handing it back to her, shaking his head.

"I don't want to read about what happened." He told her. "I want you to tell me what happened."

Rey took back her journal and stroked a hand over its worn leather cover.

"I could read it to you." She said as a compromise. He smiled at her and nodded.

She walked over to her bed and sat on the edge. Ben followed her, sitting down next to her. Rey opened the journal and flipped back to an early portion of the notebook.

"Day 183 - Something very strange and dare I say wonderful happened last night. Ben came to see me, and we made love...."


	15. A Good Feeling

It was the best nights sleep she had gotten in a very long time. It would have been perfect if it weren't for the poking and prodding that had eventually woken her from her slumber.

"Mamma...." Lou hissed as he poked Rey's shoulder for the fourth time. "Mam-maaaaaaa."

Rey groaned.

"I'm up." Rey yawned as she rubbed at her eyes. She sleepily blinked at her son's face as he stared at her with wide eyes.

"What's the matter honey?" She asked him.

"What's Dad doing here?" He asked, pointing over her shoulder.

Rey sat up and her journal tumbled off the side of the bed.

They must have fallen asleep while she was reading. Rey reached over and picked up the journal, the movement disturbing the long figure of Ben behind her.

"What time is it?" He mumbled as he rolled over.

He was greeted by Lou's curious stare and, dare he say, mischievous grin.

"Morning Dad." Lou said.

"Uhh..... Good.... Morning...." Ben said slowly. Was he dreaming? As he looked around the small room, it became clearer that he was fully awake. He shouldn't be here. He was supposed to have gone back to his cell following visiting with Rey. But that was before they got distracted reading her journal.

He sat up on the bed, swinging his legs over the edge. Lou was still staring at him. Ben realized that the boys greeting to him this morning was the first time he had referred to him as 'Dad'. It was an awkward feeling, one he assumed he'd eventually get used to.

"Lou , did you have breakfast yet?" Rey asked, as she busied herself with some linens from her wardrobe.

"No."

"Good. Then go to the cafeteria and I'll see you there." Rey said, trying to give Lou an excuse to leave.

"But I want to have breakfast with you and Dad." Lou whined.

Rey faced her wardrobe, shoulders heaving as she exhaled a deep sigh.

"Lou I -" She started but Ben interrupted.

"I think that sounds like a great idea." He said, standing up.

Rey turned from the wardrobe and Lou grinned at her. She frowned at the two of them.

"Fine. Go get dressed then." Rey said hastily to Lou. He practically darted from the room.

Rey rummaged in the wardrobe again before handing Ben some gray and black linens.

"What are these?" He asked her.

"Clothes. They're missing a few buttons, I've been meaning to mend them." She said as she turned back to the wardrobe.

Ben frowned. He liked his clothes, but he also had been wearing them for the last several days. He also definitely needed a shower.

"What about my old clothes?" He asked her.

"Just leave your shirt and jacket on the bed, I'll launder them later." She said.

Rey hurriedly changed into a new tunic and pants while Ben changed into the gray shirt and black vest Rey had given him.

Lou scrambled back in the room, his hair messy from quickly changing out of his pajamas.

"I'm ready!" He said to them.

They walked down to the cafeteria with Lou leading the way.

"I'm sorry." Ben said to Rey.

"Hmmm?" Rey asked, turning her head slightly to look at Ben.

"You told me to apologize to you daily. So .... I'm sorry." He repeated.

"Oh...." Rey said. A smile twitched at her lips.

"Thank you." She replied.

They collected their food and sat down together. Lou pushed his plate of flatcakes towards Ben.

Ben looked at the plate and then back at the boy.

"I already have food of my own." Ben said.

"Cut my flatcakes." Lou ordered.

"Lou.... Use your manners." Rey reminded him.

"Cut my flatcakes - PUHLEASE." Lou said.

Rey's eyes twinkled with delight as Lou bossed Ben around.

Ben, not knowing how to respond, catered the boys whims. Fetching him a napkin, refilling his juice, buttering his toast.

"No no no no no NO!!!!"

Shouts rang out in the hall and Poe ran by the cafeteria only to skid to a stop and backtrack into the mess hall.

"YOU!" He shouted at Ben.

"Good morning General." Ben cheekily replied to Poe.

"What do you think you're doing here?" Poe asked Ben, approaching in a huff - his index finger extended at him.

"I'm eating breakfast with my family." Ben said.

Lou grinned up at Poe with a mouthful of flatcakes. Poe breathed heavily as he looked at the three of them.

"Give it back. NOW." Poe said, holding out his hand.

Ben fished around in his pocket and held out the key card to the cells out to Poe. Poe snatched it out of his hand.

"I ought to add this to your list of offenses." Poe snapped at Ben.

"It was just breakfast Poe..." Rey said in an attempt to calm him.

Poe's mouth formed into a tight line.

"He is our prisoner!" Poe hissed to her.

"He knows that. Besides, if he was going to escape, he would already be gone by now."

Poe glared at Ben.

"DAD! I want more juice." Lou said loudly.

Poe's face fell in that instant. He began to feel guilty as he watched Ben get up from the table and refill Lou's cup.

All Ben wanted to do was to be with Rey and his son. His family. He had no reason to escape. They were all he had left in the galaxy. There wasn't even a First Order for him to go back to anyway. And as much as he would like to keep the ass locked up, he couldn't that to Rey, and he couldn't do that to Lou.

Ben returned to the table and handed Lou his cup.

"Thank you Dad." Lou said.

"You're welcome.... Kid." Ben said, his lip giving a twitch. Rey smiled at him. Poe audibly sighed, visibly annoyed.

"All right, FINE." Poe said, frustrated. "But I'm warning you now Rey, if he tries anything I won't hesitate to shoot him."

"Understood." Rey said as she nodded to Poe.

"And he's getting a trial." Poe continued. "And don't expect me to go easy on him."

~~~~~~

In the months following the final battle with the First Order, the trial for Ben regarding his actions against the Resistance was held. The sentence handed down was a long one. He would be forced to serve the Resistance for the rest of his life.

"I thought you said you weren't going to go easy on him." Rey mocked Poe after the trial was over.

"Hey, other people had votes too...." Poe said defensively.

"Mmmhmm." Rey said to him before she wrapped him up in a hug.

"Thank you." She whispered to him.

"Yeah, yeah. You're welcome." Poe said, giving her back a light pat.

So Ben was now technically 'free' to do whatever he pleased around the base, granted he helped out. Once they got over their awkward and not to mention - angry - reunion, he was first sent to work helping Chewy with ship repairs. Then he moved on to helping Finn in the gardens, especially since Rose was now too pregnant for such physical labor. By the time Finn and Rose had their baby, he was assisting the radar technicians with interior repairs.

It was now Lou's fifth birthday. Rey had been rushing around trying to plan a small party in-between all her lessons. It was Lou's first birthday with his father, and Rey wanted it to be special.

Rey gathered all their close friends in the cafeteria where she had a homemade cake and all of Lou's favorite foods spread out.

"Thanks Mamma!" Lou said, giving his mother a hug.

"You're welcome honey." She said as she hugged him back.

"Hey, no cake until after he opens presents." Ben said to Chewy, seeing the large Wookiee extending a furry hand towards the cake. Chewy roared in protest but backed off from the cake.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it." Rey said to Rose and Finn as they entered the cafeteria with their new daughter, Paige. Paige was now about a month old.

"We wouldn't miss it." Said an obviously exhausted Rose.

Paige was fussing in her mothers arms, her face contorting as she issued a tiny cry.

"Still having trouble getting her to sleep?" Rey asked the new parents.

"You have no idea." Finn said, issuing a large yawn.

"May I?" Rey asked, holding out her hands.

"Please!" Rose said, quickly handing over the infant.

Rey scooped up Paige in her arms and lightly bounced her over her shoulder, repeating a series of pats along her back until Paige gave a hearty burp and began to settle down.

"You've got to teach me that." Rose said, clearly impressed.

"Worked all the time when Lou was a baby." Rey said, handing Paige back to Rey.

She looked over feeling Ben's eyes on her. He was smiling at her and she smiled back.

"Presents?" He asked her. She nodded.

"Okay Lou. You can open your presents now." Ben told Lou.

Temiri and Enzo had made Lou some new playing cards since the ones they used were beginning to rip and tear from being so old. Finn and Rose gifted him with a toy MSE-6 droid while Poe gave him one of his old fighter pilot helmets.

"You can grow into it." Poe said as the oversized helmet comically wobbled on top of Lou's head.

"Thanks General!" Lou said, taking off the helmet and setting it aside.

"This is from your mother and me." Ben said as he handed his son a neatly wrapped gift. "But mostly from me."

Rey gave Ben a nudge and he smiled at her.

Lou tore into the paper.

"Wow! A holo pad!!! COOOOL!"

"A refurbished holo pad. Your dad had to fix it up, just for you."

"Thanks Dad!" Lou said, giving Ben a tight hug. Ben wrapped his arms around his growing boy.

"I love you Dad." Lou mumbled into Ben's shoulder.

"Love you too, kid." Ben mumbled back.

"Can we have cake now?" Lou asked as he let go of Ben.

"Sure. As long as Chewy doesn't get his fur in it first."

Chewy gave another roar as Lou laughed.

"Happy Birthday Dear Lucas.... Happy Birthday To You!"

Everyone clapped and cheered as Lou blew out the five candles atop of his cake. Finn held Paige while Rose helped Rey cut and plate the cake.

"I hope my birthday wish comes true this year, just like last years!" Lou said to his friends.

"Your birthday wish came true last year?" Rey asked as she passed around the cake.

"Uh huh." Lou replied.

"Well, what did you wish for?" She asked.

"To meet Dad." Lou said proudly.

Ben and Rey's eyes met and Rey blushed.

"That's so sweet." Rose said.

"What did you wish for this year?" Rey asked Lou.

Lou shook his head.

"I can't tell you Mamma or it won't come true." He told her.

"Oh." Rey said, pretending to be offended.

"But I've got a good feeling about it." He said, giving her a knowing smile.

There was an awkward hush in the room as Lou reached over to Finn and wiggled a finger at Paige.

"Oh no." Poe said, nearly dropping his cake. "Not another one."

"Another what?" Rey asked.

"Oh no." Finn repeated.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Rey asked.

"Rey...." Rose said slowly, placing a hand over her heart. "I think you're expecting!!!"

"What?!" Rey said. "Pffft... I can't be.... I mean... I.... Uh..."

She panicked and looked over at Ben who looked somewhat guilty.

"Ben?" She asked him quietly.

"Well.... I noticed your Force signature was off the other day.... But you were so busy planning his party I didn't want to say anything...." He said with a small shrug.

"Oh Ben...." Rey said as she wrapped him up in a hug.

They stood there holding each other close for a moment.

"You better not disappear this time." Rey said to Ben. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry." He said to her. "I'm not going anywhere."

END


End file.
